Discomforting Comforts
by Soricha
Summary: It's the future. Callie is gone and things have changed.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One:**

"_It's just too comfortable."_

_The brunette stood up and looked down at the blonde before whispering, "It's just comfortable, there is nothing new…"_

"_So this is it?" The blonde looked at her, tears pooling in her blue eyes. She watched the dark eyes whose tears had already started to fall._

"_This is it," the brunette confirmed and watched with a dull ache in her chest as the blonde shook her head while picking up her bag._

_She stood up and went to the front door before turning to the taller woman._

"_Calliope, this is all you… just so you know."_

******************

Callie woke with a start and groaned as the strong sunlight hit her eyes with sheer force. She rolled and buried her face in the pillow, escaping the directness of the light. She let her senses adjust to being awake, inhaling the scents of the pillow. She smiled as she heard the sound of children laughing and playing. She stood up, wrapping the sheet around her naked body, and went to the window. It was hot but it was dry and the air smelled dusty, but she was used to it. She giggled as she watched the children play soccer on the street below her and smiled.

"Toni! The ball!"

The soccer ball darted over heads and continued its speedy journey down the street. Callie laughed as she watched the young boy chase after it and the other children heard her chuckles and looked up at her. They waved and greeted her and Callie was reminded of her attire. She quickly slipped into the shower, getting used to the coldness of the water against her warm skin. She dressed quickly and stepped into the kitchen where her colleague was sat reading the newspaper and drinking coffee.

"It's fresh," he barked, his voice gravely.

"And good morning to you too Felipe," Callie joked.

"Our budget has been cut again," Felipe said as an apology.

"Didn't know we had a budget to cut," Callie answered whilst sipping her coffee. She smiled as she inhaled it. Coffee is always coffee.

Felipe laughed, "Jorge has gone to shout at them."

"Ah yes, because that is an effective way of doing things," Callie nodded as she walked out. "Does he remember the last time he did that?"

"The two weeks in prison?" Felipe smiled. "Of course he doesn't."

Callie laughed and left the small apartment and descended down the stairs into their work space. The clinic was supposed to be a hospital. In fact, it was called San Bartholomew Hospital, except it consisted of three rooms. One room – the ward – consisted of two beds and a chair, another room – the surgery – held a table and the basics of surgical implements and the third room – the treatment centre – had two old benches, a desk and a chair. This was where most of their work took place, and this was where Callie stood as she watched the fourth and last member of their staff, Rita, talk quietly to an old man.

She stepped outside and greeted the children who were intensely involved in their game of soccer. She noticed one child not playing and grinned. She walked over to the stoop where the young boy was sitting and sat next to him. She kissed him softly on the forehead.

"Morning Paco," and smiled as the boy mumbled a morning, engrossed in his book. She snatched the book of him, and smiled as she read the front cover. "You learning medicine now."

Paco smiled shyly, "I like it."

"You going to help me today," Callie asked and laughed when the young boy's dark eyes lit up. "Tell your brother."

She watched the little boy chase after his big brother, "Toni!"

She went inside and placed her empty cup on the desk.

"Am going on rounds," Callie informed Rita and watched as Paco skipped into the room and went straight to the cupboard. "You got your kit, Dr. Paco."

The little boy nodded and wrapped his stethoscope around his neck, and lug her bag onto the floor. She went to pick it up.

"No, no… I'll take it," Paco ordered and picked up the bag with all his strength before dropping it. He pouted at it. "Okay, you take it."

"We need to make you stronger," Callie laughed as she threw the bag over her shoulder.

"I am strong," Paco announced, flexing his thin arms.

"You're a scrawny kid," Callie stated as she walked out, followed by her young intern. She watched the little boy skip ahead of her. He was smaller than an average eight year old. But that was not surprising. He was being raised in the poverty-stricken area of La Paz. His father was lost to drugs and his mother raised them on the salary of a prostitute. He and his brother Toni spent their days on the street, so to not intrude on their mother's workspace.

When Callie first arrived at the hospital, she would notice the little boy peering through the window watching them work, fascination in his big dark eyes. Yet, every time, she approached him, he would run away. This would continue for weeks until on one occasion his older brother dislocated his shoulder. Paco ran to the clinic with tears his big eyes, pulling at the brunette's hand but refusing to speak. She relented and allowed herself be dragged to the injured older boy. She recognised the dislocation immediately.

She eased herself next to the older boy who was struggling not to cry.

"What's your name?" She asked as she studied the injury.

"Toni," the boy mumbled.

"I'm Callie, and who is this?" she gestured to the small boy.

"My brother Paco," Toni informed her. "Don't touch it."

"I am just going to stroke it… so do you go to school?"

Toni shook his head, "We have no money. I work on the farms."

Callie frowned, "How old are you?"

"Eleven."

"What do you like doing?"

"I play soccer. I want to be a big soccer star." Toni stated with ambition.

"Really, and you Paco?"

"He doesn't like talking to strangers," Toni stated, as he watched the younger boy wipe his dirty face with the neck of his torn t-shirt.

"That's good… when I was your age, I was told not to talk to strangers," Callie informed as she placed a hand under the boy's elbow. "But I like talking, so I will keep talking… so where do you play soccer?"

"Wherever we can and the police don't chase us. But we don't have a pitch, so there's never a real goal… OW!!!!!!!!" Toni screamed as he felt the pop in his shoulder and glared at the brunette before realising the pain was no more. He grinned, "Hey, you fixed it!"

Callie laughed, "Yes, I did."

She glanced over at Paco who was smiling widely, dimples adorning his cheeks, and she felt a kick in her stomach with a simultaneous joy in her heart. "I need to put your arm in a sling now, so let's get you to the clinic… and… you boys hungry?"

Toni nodded and stood up whilst Paco ran forward and grabbed Callie's hand. Since then, Paco became Callie's young intern.

"We're here, Callie," Paco yelled as he reached an old blue door, knocking Callie back into the present tense. She watched as the boy knocked on the door. A young girl answered the door and glanced shyly at Callie before stepping aside. Callie stepped in and her working day began.

* * *

"Is Hogwarts a real place?"

Callie looked up from her paperwork at the little boy and smiled, "Maybe… we will have to go to Kings Cross and find out one day."

Paco grinned again, his dimples lighting up his dark skin before returning his head to the pages of the book.

"Still can't believe he is reading Harry Potter?" Felipe grumbled as he picked up the phone.

"Were you expecting Shakespeare and Dickens?" Callie quipped.

"If I knew you would give him that to read I would have discouraged you from teaching him to read." Felipe answered before returning his attention to the phone.

"I have returned," Jorge announced as he slammed the door open, before grinning and ruffling Paco's hair. "Hey there kid… you a doctor yet? Because we're going to need one."

"Jesus, Jorge!" Callie yelled as she took in the black eye and the bleeding cuts. "Sit down!"

She pushed him onto the chair before looking at him, "Are you drunk?"

Jorge laughed before looking into the dark brown eyes watching him, "I am Dr. Torres, I am drunk and I have broken ribs."

Callie shook her head before taking the wet cloths Paco offered her, unsurprised by his automatic presence. She dabbed the cuts. "You have got to stop yelling at the board, every time they say no. You're lucky, you're still alive."

"You know they don't take us seriously… we treat the scum of the earth." Jorge looked at the little boy. "Hear that Paco. You're scum."

"Jorge!" Callie slapped the older man. She watched Paco run away. "You're an ass. Go and lie down. Sleep it off!"

She ran out into the darkened street, "Paco!"

She could hear the quiet cries and turned around the corner of the clinic. She saw the little boy crouched against the walls. She slid down the wall, next to him and wrapped an arm around him, pulling him into a hug. "Shush baby, Jorge is just an ass! You are not scum."

She rocked him, allowing him to cry. She could hear distant gun shots and no longer was surprised to hear them. When she first arrived in La Paz, everything frightened her, but now it was the norm. The shouting, the guns, the loud engines, the noise of every night was part of her life now, yet she was luckier than the little boy she was cradling, because she can remember a life without it, though she avoided remembering them.

She does however remember the phone call to Paolo. She had phoned him on her last night in Seattle, not knowing it was going to be her last night there. He had told her about San Bartholomew and it needed someone who specialised in traumatic injuries. She had not known that Paolo had more than work-related interests at heart in convincing her to come and join the small staff for no pay. He tried, she rejected, he left and she stayed. There was nothing to return to though. She picked up the now sleeping boy and brought him back into the clinic, and laid him on the bed in the ward. She kissed him softly on the forehead, and returned to the treatment room to wait for Toni to come and get him. She glared at Jorge who shrugged.

"I didn't mean him…"

"I am ignoring you," Callie said as she returned to her paperwork. "You're such a pig!"

Jorge snorted before struggling to get up and turning to the brunette, "And you are beautiful, Calliope."

Callie looked up, her eyes filled with anger and hurt.

"Don't call me that," she whispered.

She watched him study her and then walk away. She turned back to her paperwork and frowned. She could feel those memories return and she mumbled her own name back to her, "Calliope."

She shook her head knowing that tonight would be another restless night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:**

_The blonde wrapped her arms around her chest as she surveyed the emptiness of the room. She ignored her body's trembling as she went to touch the bare mattress, before lifting her fingers to her lips. She gasped, and held the sobs in before feeling a presence at the doorframe._

"_She's gone… don't know where. She left a note saying Sorry and two months rent up front… I don't think she's coming back."_

_The blonde nodded before sitting on the empty bed. She avoided eye contact with the other person, turning to the window. _

"_Everything is gone," she whispered, noting her voice cracking._

"_Yeah… and now I need to find another room-mate."_

_The blonde's head whipped around to her companion, the hurt present in her eyes._

"_You could live here… you practically did already, and I know you're not going to bring randoms home every night… or you could. Depends on how you react to heart-break…" _

_The small woman shrugged before leaving the room. She turned to the now quietly crying blonde, "It would save me so much effort…"_

_The blonde looked at her, "She's gone."_

"_Yeah."_

* * *

The alarm buzzed through the empty air, but it didn't wake Arizona up. She was already awake. She hit the alarm hard before turning in her bed, continuing to stare out the window, watching the rain. How she missed the sun. She stood up and wandered into the bathroom. She turned the shower on before staring into the mirror. She stuck her tongue out at her reflection before stepping into the hot water, relishing the feeling it had against her cool skin. After dressing quickly she wandered into the kitchen and smiled at the coffee pot.

"Oh coffee, how I love thee."

She heard her room-mate chuckle and glanced at her. "Morning"

Christina acknowledged her with a wave of a spoon, continuing to read her medical journals.

"Where's Owen?"

Christina shrugged before looking up at her, "Where's Lily?"

Arizona shrugged before pouring her coffee into her thermos mug, "I am going to be late."

Christina waved at the departing blonde with her spoon.

* * *

Arizona pulled her hair back into a messy ponytail as she walked towards the residents. She grabbed one of their charts and glanced at the name before heading towards the room.

"Morning Jessica," she said warmly to the little girl who was frantically colouring in her book. "And what is that you're drawing?"

"The hospital," Jessica stated without looking up. The little girl had been a resident of Seattle Grace Mercy West for four months, and the walls of her room were adorned with artistic creations.

"It's very realistic," Arizona stated as she studied the picture, before looking at her impatient residents. She inwardly sighed before calling on the most impatient to provide a status update.

"The patient's name is Jessica Alderman, aged seven and with a history of diabetes and epilepsy. She was admitted for a series of seizures, on which a tumour was found. It is inoperable according to Dr. Shepherd, so she is on chemo…"

"Okay, thank you for that Dr. … Short?" she studied the tall man before grinning, "Seriously? Your name is Dr. Short? That's funny."

Her eyes twinkled as Jessica also found the humour.

"It's my name Dr. Robbins," the young man answered impatiently.

She ushered them out of the room before looking at Jessica, mouthing "Dr. Short."

The little girl started to giggle again.

Arizona smiled and promised to return before finding her residents in a huddle. She looked at them and dropped her smile.

"Please remember that these are children and have no idea what you are saying, nor do they appreciate the depressing tones in which you address their medical problems… nor do I."

She grabbed another chart, glancing at the name, and led the group into the next room. She smiled brightly at the teenage boy.

"Good morning Timothy… and are we ready for the big day."

Timothy grumbled into PSP and Arizona smiled as his mother rolled her eyes.

"Okay, Dr… Friedkin… tell me about the surgery?"

"Eh… Okay…" He glances down at his notebook, before rummaging through the pages.

Arizona frowns but before she can speak, she notices a figure in the doorway. She smiles widely before glancing back at the struggling doctor. "I suggest you take the next five minutes to learn about Timothy… in fact, am pretty sure he can tell you himself, right Timothy?"

Timothy nodded without looking up.

Arizona smiled and walked out of the room. "Hey… you disappeared early…"

The dark-haired woman nodded, "Yeah, was paged and didn't want to disturb you. You seemed like you were having a nice dream."

Arizona recalled the dream and blushed. "You free for lunch?"

"So you can tell me about this dream?"

Arizona laughed, "Lily… it wasn't that kind of dream… so are you?"

Lily leant in and kissed the dimpled cheek, "For you… of course."

She backed away and started walking towards the OB ward, "But still want to hear this dream Robbins."

Arizona smiled and turned away, swearing to herself that the contents of that dream were never to be repeated.

"Glad I don't talk in my sleep," she muttered to herself. She smiled at the nurse who overheard her. She was about to say something when her pager went off. She darted out of the ward, and down to the ER.

She approached the desk, "You paged?"

"I didn't… he did." The nurse stated, whilst pointing at Karev.

She nodded before approaching the arrogant doctor who she could easily despise yet respected. "Karev?"

"Okay, this one is awkward… eh… the kid's hand… oh, just look." He pulled across the curtains, revealing a young boy whose hand was down his trousers. She studied the boy who was in obvious discomfort and embarrassment.

"Hey," she said gently. "My name is Arizona, what's yours?"

"Jacob," He answered with bitterness. "You're not going to call my Mom, are you?"

She looked at Karev who just nodded, "We have to, because you're a minor."

She looked at his chart, surprised by his age. He was small for his thirteen years. He groaned.

"So Jacob, can you tell me what happened?"

The boy pushed his brown hair from his eyes, forcing his tears back. "My hand is stuck to my… thing…"

Arizona closed the curtains before lifting the boy's face towards her, "Hey there… I'm going to fix it… because I am awesome, aren't I Karev?"

"Huh… yes…"

"See, awesome…" Arizona lifted down the sheet and saw that the boys hand had been glued to his privates.

"They did it to me… the boys in school. They pick on me because I'm short. In gym, in the showers."

Arizona was horrified but continued to work on the injury, letting the boy talk, "Just so you know… I didn't do it myself. I'm not an idiot!"

Arizona recognised the anger in his tone, and glanced up at him and let her blue eyes meet dark eyes, and she gasped inwardly. "You look too smart to do that… okay, I am going to need put some ointment on this… and he is going to need a catheter… and probably Dr. Sloan…"

Karev nodded and left. She looked at the nervous boy, "Did they physically do this to you… because if they did, you can…"

Jacob shook his head, "They put itching powder in my shorts… and then Danny, my friend, gave me lotion… he said it would stop the itching… but it was glue. He was supposed to be my friend."

The boy's voice took a bitter turn and Arizona felt for him. She took his free hand, "You won't believe me now, but things get better after school… You're smart… you're going to be soooo awesome and super, and those other kids… well, they won't be."

She saw his doubt and she continued, "I promise things get better."

She stepped away when Karev returned with Sloan.

"Robbins," Sloan offered only to be ignored by the blonde who turned to Jacob and proceeded to tell him what they were going to be doing to him.

* * *

"He's acting weird."

"Who is acting weird?" Arizona asked as she joined Christina's table. She flashed a smile at Meredith, who simply rolled her eyes.

"Owen?"

Christina groaned and stabbed her food with a fork repeatedly.

"Or you're acting weird?"

Meredith laughed and Christina glared at her.

"Don't you have a date or something?" Christina mumbled.

Arizona looked up and spotted the pink scrubs of the OB/GYN surgeon. She smiled before turning to Christina, "Play nice."

"You know I can't… seriously Robbins, I thought you were bad… but her…"

"Shush!"

Arizona allowed herself to be pecked on the lips.

"So what are we talking about?" Lily asked as she lifted her sandwich.

"Sugar and Spice and all things nice," Christina stated, her voice dripped with sarcasm. "Ow! Don't kick me Robbins!"

"I heard about penis boy," Meredith interrupted the exchange. Arizona rolled her eyes and muttered Karev's name under her breath.

"Actually it was Sloan who told me," Christina corrected her.

"Of course, I should have known," Arizona announced bitterly.

"Penis-boy?" Lily queried and Arizona just shook her head.

"Just this kid we're operating on this afternoon."

Lily's pager interrupted the blonde.

"Oh… well that was a short date," Lily smiled at everyone at the table before looking at her girlfriend. "See you tonight?"

Arizona nodded and watched her leave.

"You know what my problem with her is?"

"I don't want to," Arizona answered Christina, knowing exactly what her problem was.

"She is everything Cal…"

"I said I don't want to," Arizona interrupted harshly, before leaving also.

Christina looked at Meredith who gave her the warning eyes.

"Don't give me those eyes… I am right, that pink marshmallow of a girl is everything Callie isn't…"

"Yeah," Meredith agreed. "But she doesn't want to face that."

"Oh come on," Christina growled, starting the stabbing of her food again. "It's been over a year!"

"I think it's dead," Meredith stated as she pointed to the demolished food.

* * *

She rolled her shoulders before pulling off her cap. The surgery was a success but she didn't feel that joy she loved. Her mind kept returning to the conversation in the canteen. She didn't welcome those memories but every so often they returned. Usually, when Christina and Lily were in the same room. When it was just Lily, she never needed to remember, but throw Christina in the mix, and she could always see that look in her eyes. That look that said, "It's not…"

Her thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of soft hands against her aching blades and warm lips against her neck. She smiled before turning to the OB/GYN surgeon.

"You ready to go?"

Arizona sighed before shaking her head, "Do you mind if I take a rain check?"

Lily sighed, "Again?"

Arizona shrugged and turned back to her locker, "I'm sorry, but I have charting to do… and…"

"I get it," Lily stated even though she didn't. "One of those days?"

Arizona nodded and allowed herself to be kissed.

"Tomorrow?" The dark-haired lady asked, and smiled when Arizona nodded. "Until then, good night and hope you have more sweet dreams."

Arizona smiled, before falling onto the bench, frowning. She rested her head in her hands, groaning loudly.

She laughed at herself before grabbing her coat and bag. She walked out and saw the same residents she had met in the morning and smiled. She approached them and beckoned them to follow her.

"Hi Jacob, how are you feeling?"

Arizona noted the lack of a parent but continued to smile. The boy looked at her and held up both hands. She grinned.

"I know you don't believe me about what I said about things getting better so I am going to prove it to you."

She pointed at the resident before her, "Come here."

She smiled at the boy who seemed clueless at what she was doing. She tapped at the resident's name badge.

The boy slowly grinned, "Seriously? But you're like… giant!"

Arizona smiled widely showing her dimples in full glory before leaving.

"There's the joy!"

She allowed herself that moment because it would help her sleep at night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three:**

"_What are you doing here?"_

"_Safer out here than in there," the brunette answered her tall neighbour, nodding her head in the direction of her apartment._

_The tall man raised an eyebrow and grinned, "Ooo laa laa."_

_The brunette chuckled, "More like Raa Raa Raa… they're arguing."_

_The tall man slid down the wall next to her, "Where's blondie?"_

_She shook her head, "Working… want some?"_

_He nodded and took the bottle, "You and me, and a bottle of tequila… this could get interesting."_

_She slapped him, "I am a good girl now."_

"_Ah but for how long?"_

* * *

Callie glanced up at the clock, reminding herself for the umpteenth time to straighten it, before glancing back down at her patient on the operating table. She glanced at Felipe who kept the mask over the injured man's face. She sighed before taking the scalpel Rita handed to her.

She muttered to herself as she opened the unconscious man up. She knew before opening up that she couldn't save him, because there was no exit wound. She knew that without the simple use of x-rays and MRIs, that this was similar to playing a game of blind-folded operation, except there would be no buzzing sound. In fact there would be no sound. But that wasn't what made it difficult. What made it difficult was the second bullet, which was lodged into his femoral artery. In Seattle, she would be able to do with ease, but here, she couldn't because Jorge had yet to return from the blood bank. Finally, she was Ortho and this was Trauma.

She, however, had taken an oath and she prided herself in keeping with that oath.

She continued to mumble to herself before making her decision. She looked at Felipe.

"The left lung…"

If she finds the first bullet, then there was the tiniest chance…

She sliced the skin with ease, before cracking open the rib-cage. She saw pools of blood and knew this man would eventually start drowning. She looked up again, counting in her head, before looking at Rita. The other woman held her watch and started the timer. Callie delved her fingers behind veins and tissues and between organs. She found tears and put Felipe's fingers on them, while she prepared to stitch them. She let her fingers do the work, trusting her years of experience and training.

"Time?"

Rita, without missing a beat, "163 Seconds."

Callie pushed Felipe's fingers out of the way, "Where's the bullet?"

"Must be in the vessel," Felipe answered as he checked the unconscious man's oxygen.

"Shit," Callie took a breath, "Okay…"

She trailed her finger tips lightly along the surfaces of the insides before feeling the bulge, "Got it!... Clamp that!"

She knew time was the enemy but ignored it. She wasn't going to stop even when it was too late.

She pulled the tiny bullet out, dropping it in the tray before applying the stitches, "Time!"

"427 Seconds!"

She looked at Rita, "Really?"

Rita smiled weakly.

Callie hooked the man to their last bag of blood, glaring at him as she did so.

"You better make this worth it and get out of the Valcones"

She then looked at the leg. She had no choice now but to amputate. She didn't have the blood to save it. That tiny chance of surviving was growing, and she was going to take it.

She looked at Rita who nodded in agreement. She had three minutes to cut before the body starts shutting down. This was the problem with lack of anaesthesia: the reliance on ether.

She used all her strength to make the cut.

"Callie!" Felipe warned. "He's waking up."

"Shit!" Callie swore again, but continued putting her deft hands to work. "Hold him down."

***************

"That was incredible," Felipe praised the brunettes as he wheeled the weak man from the small operating room. Callie grinned widely.

"Blind-fold operation," she said to the silent air.

She never thought what had started as a drinking game would actually come in useful, and there was only one person she wanted to share this with. The person whose idea it was to introduce the black blindfold to the children's game. She remembered the simple reasoning behind it. How can anyone beat a paediatric surgeon at Operation?

She rubbed her neck with her hand before stepping into the front of the clinic. She saw Rita explaining to the young man's mother what has happened, knowing that her relief for her son's life would soon become grief at the loss of a limb. How will he get money for them? He can't work and the Valcones have no need for him anymore. When she had first arrived she was appalled at the blatant ignorance of the drug-running militia who recruited boys as their soldiers. But now she knew that there would always be a Valcone. Their leader would always be replaced. It was the world of drugs and money. And she would be treating its victims.

She saw Paco writing at the desk and smiled. She was so proud of the boy. He was determined to learn and she loved to teach him. She was adamant he would not be a Valcone.

She slipped up the stairs for a cold shower, relishing in her save. Those cases rarely had survivors, and always made her question her presence there, but when they lived… it was indescribable.

She let the water wash the blood from her hands, face and body. She never thought she would miss scrubs. She stepped out of the coldness straight into the warmth. She studied her reflection for a few moments and she suddenly felt alone.

She wanted to share this moment with someone.

*****************

"Where's Toni?" Callie asked Paco who just shrugged. "Paco! Where is your brother?"

"Busy working… Rummy," Paco grinned, revealing his dimples.

"You cheat," Callie laughed as she gathered the playing cards. "It's late… he should be here."

"Mama is getting me tonight," Paco said as he took his newly dealt cards.

Callie was surprised. She rarely met with the boys' mother.

"I finished my book," Paco stated.

"Already?" Callie asked, though not surprised. "I'll need to get you some more."

"Where do you get them?"

"In the book shop… ah ha Rummy!... oh not so Rummy.

"Is the book shop in America?"

"No it's here…"

"Toni said you're going to go back to America."

"Did he?" She asked, taking another card. "Why did he say that?"

"Because American doctors only stay here for a small while… it's like a prison for bad American doctors."

Callie laughed, "A prison… what did I do bad?"

Paco looked up at her for the first time since he started the conversation. She smiled as he frowned, deep in thought, waiting for an answer to come to mind.

"You hurt someone?"

Callie blinked before looking away. She nodded, "I did hurt someone. I hurt her very much."

"So this is prison!" Paco shouted.

"No! This is not prison. I chose to come here, and I am glad I did… I am teaching the best doctor the world has yet to see."

Paco smiled shyly, and she couldn't resist his dimples, stroking them softly.

"Paco, I am not leaving anytime soon… and Rummy!"

Paco dropped his mouth open, "You cheated!"

Callie held up her hands, "Not me."

"I saw you change the cards… cheater!"

Callie grabbed the shouting boy and started tickling him, "Not me! I am not a cheat!"

Paco roared with laughter, "Stop! Cheat!"

Callie shook her head, allowing the torture to continue for a few minutes more, only to be interrupted by the clearing of a throat.

"Mama!" Paco yelled with joy. His mother smiled at him before nodding at Callie.

Callie stood up, smiled and shook her hand, "Hi, sorry… just teaching him cards…"

Ines nodded, taking her son's hand. She looked like she wanted to say something but couldn't.

Callie stroked Paco's face before looking back at his mother. She remembered their last meeting, an argument about the boys' education. It was only when Ines threatened to ban Callie from seeing the children that the surgeon relented.

"I will see you soon, and tell Toni he owes me a game of soccer."

Paco nodded before skipping out the door. Ines nodded at Callie, pausing for one more minute before following her son.

Callie watched them before looking at her desk; the cards were strewn all over the forms she was choosing to ignore.

She sighed and sat down, "Oh paperwork, how you never seem to care about the trees!"

She picked up her pen and yet again, reminded herself how she had taken life as a surgeon for granted when she was at Seattle Grace.

"Hey."

"Jesus!" Callie yelped, as she jumped. She smiled at Rita, "You scared the crap out of me."

Rita smiled sheepishly, "Sorry, Jorge and Felipe are arguing again!"

"Let me guess, money!" Callie grumbled as she threw her pen down. "Am trying to budget for supplies, but there is no budget to work from."

She knew she would be asking her dad for yet again another donation.

"Actually… they're arguing about moving the hospital..."

"Moving!"

Rita nodded, "Yeah, in a fund-worthy area… But you know Felipe won't allow it."

Callie nodded with uncertainty.

Rita laughed, "Oh you weren't here last time they had the moving conversation…want to hear?"

Callie nodded.

Rita lifted a bottle of tequila, "Want a drink?"

Callie nodded and laughed, "Hell yeah."

*******************

Callie giggled uncontrollably as Rita relayed her story, "So anyway, Jorge is covered in red paint and Felipe just stares him down…"

Callie laughed and hiccupped, "I still can't believe they were together together."

"Does it bother you?"

Callie laughed and shook her head, "Oh God no!"

Rita smiled in relief, "Good, because Paolo had problems with it… and you being Paolo's ex…"

Callie spat her drink out, "Oh that is so not true… he said that?"

Rita nodded, "Yes, said you and he were engaged but you chose to stay in the States and he came here…and the distance was the problem"

"Oh my God! That is sooo not true!"

"Oh…" Rita drank in discomfort before looking over at the brunette. "Great job today with Manuel… the bullet kid."

Callie nodded, "Manuel… I didn't know that."

"You must be one hell of a surgeon in a proper hospital…"

"Oh, that was down to plenty of practise in blindfold Operation." Callie saw the blank expression on her companion's face so continued, "The kids' game with a blindfold… my ex encouraged it."

"Was he a surgeon too?"

"Yes she is…"

"She? I never saw that…" Rita said without missing a beat. She topped up Callie's glass. "And she is the reason you are here?"

Callie studied the older woman, deciding on trusting her with an answer. "Yes."

"Callie… you're an enigma. You're like a caged bird here."

"You and Paco and cages today."

Rita ignored her, "Here, I think you're more alive when you are being a surgeon than you are any other time. Surgery is your wings."

"Rita, you're drunk!"

Rita patted Callie on the arm, "Callie, I am but I am also right. You thought you were a caged bird so you flew here and now you are caged bird…"

Callie looked at Rita struggling to find an answer.

"That sounded really wise," Rita giggled, before knocking her glass over. "I am going to bed… but Callie… why did you leave her if you still love her?"

Callie looked away from the piercing eyes, "Because sometimes love isn't enough."

"You're an idiot."

Callie watched as the other woman stagger up the stairs. She needed air or she was going to be sick.

She stepped out and took a deep breath, swallowing her tears.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four:**

_The glass smashed against the wall, its shards shattering all over the wooden floor. The bottle of tequila rolls across the floor, before stopping at the foot of the blonde._

"_I don't believe this," the blonde whispers harshly. "I can't believe this."_

"_It was nothing," the brunette pleaded._

"_Nothing!" the blonde spat the word out. "If that was nothing, I'm glad I never witnessed something!... I… this… how could you!"_

_The brunette steps towards the blonde and grabs her arms, searching for the blue eyes. She saw rage and hurt in them, and almost looked away, but instead persisted, "It was nothing…"_

_The blonde shook her off and looked up at her, "Can you promise that?"_

_The brunette went to speak but couldn't. The blonde laughed bitterly, "Nothing?"_

******************

Arizona looked up at the clock, stretching her spine before picking up the scalpel. She looked down at the open chest, seeing the heart beat slowly. She looked at the monitor, noting its displays. She lifted the heart slowly.

"Suction, I can't see it," Arizona stated. "Stop, right there… I need to cut…"

The monitor started beeping in sporadic notes.

"She's coding, she's in de-fib."

"Dammit! Paddles," Arizona ordered as she dropped her scalpel in the tray. She grabbed the offered paddles. "Charge to 160… Clear!"

"No change," her anaesthesiologist announced.

"Again!"

"Nothing…"

"Oh come on! Charge to 200!" Arizona demanded as she placed the paddles around the small heart. "Clear!"

The small body jolted and the blonde looked at the monitor and nodded as the rhythm returned.

"There we go," she announced to no one. "Okay, let's finish this, Grey can you clamp the aorta please… okay, and see there, that's the tumour."

She didn't look up to see if Grey was in agreement. She let her deft fingers do the work.

"Okay, hold the heart… dammit! It's grown itself to the… I can't do it."

She felt her fingers tremble as she lifted her fingers out. She just stared at it.

"Dr. Robbins, what do you want to do?" Meredith asked.

The blonde didn't react.

"Dr. Robbins?" Meredith looked up at the anaesthesiologist who just shrugged. She glanced up at the gallery and saw Cristina's concern. She watched as Bailey started making her way to the exit.

Arizona closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She did what she always did in these moments. She allowed herself remember. She remembered the brunette's arms on her shoulder and the brilliant smile she wore as she uttered the soft words, "You are great."

"Dr. Robbins!" Bailey shouted as she walked in, mask held to her face.

"I need to cut each vessel… Grey can you cut there… and there… okay, Bailey page Cardio… I am great!"

She slowly allowed herself to cut each vessel, a breath between each snip. She looked up at Teddy who rushed in, and simply allowed the cardiologist guide her through each snip.

She lifted the tumour out, "The size of a golf ball… okay, Grey close her up…" She breathed out, "I am great."

* * *

"Hey honey," Lily smiled as Arizona sat down next to her on the couch. "How was surgery?"

Arizona smiled at her, "Great."

"Are you sure? I heard you froze."

Arizona laughed, "People really do talk in this hospital. I did not freeze… I just had to find a new plan of action. How was your morning?"

Lily nodded, "Premature twins… pretty sick."

Arizona frowned and took Lily's hand, "You okay?"

Lily nodded, "Take me out tonight."

Arizona took the dark-haired woman's hand to her mouth and kissed it, "I can't… I'm sorry."

Lily laughed softly, "I shouldn't be surprised, should I?"

The blonde looked at her, studying the green eyes, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Green eyes looked at baby blue eyes, "Ari, it doesn't matter… I'll call you."

Arizona watched Lily rise. She grabbed the pale hand, looking up at the tall woman, "Lil.."

"I've got to go," Lily left quickly.

Arizona groaned and let her face fall into her hands.

* * *

"Hey," Christina looked over from the couch as the blonde walked in.

"You've forgiven me then?" The blonde asked, knowing that the smaller woman hated been excluded from cardiac surgeries.

Cristina shook her head, "No, but Owen wants to move in, so am angrier at him."

Arizona took of her coat, and dropped her bag on the counter. She smiled widely, "But that's so exciting…"

"You would find it exciting, because you're you… freakin' Tinkerbell, Cristina growled as she passed the wine bottle to the blonde.

"But he loves you, and you love him," Arizona pleaded, and smiled as Cristina rolled her eyes.

"Love is sooo over-rated," Cristina slurred. "You know it and I know it."

"Love is awesome," Arizona differed. "Waking up with that person in the morning, knowing that it's the same person you will fall asleep that night. Getting butterflies when you see them… finding them miraculous…"

Cristina laughed, "Miraculous?"

Arizona nodded and sipped her wine, "Yes… Yang, you have no sense of romance."

""That's because you have enough of it for both of us… get more wine."

Hours had passed and five empty bottles of wine lay on the coffee table as Cristina yelled at the buzzer.

"This is stupid Robbins!"

Arizona laughed, "But it's the best way to play Operation!"

Cristina pulled off her blindfold and looked at the empty bottles, "We need more wine…"

"There is no more," Arizona declared with an edge of disappointment.

Cristina nodded and stood up straight, "Then we steal some."

Arizona followed Cristina to the front door, "From who?"

"The man-whore," Cristina said as she banged on his door. "Where is he?"

Arizona just shrugged and Cristina stood back, "Guess we will have to break it open then…"

Arizona stopped Cristina charged towards the door, giggling, "Stop!"

Cristina shook herself off, "Okay, I need chewing gum, hairspray and a safety pin."

Arizona laughed loudly, "What?"

"MacGyver did it," Cristina hiccupped.

"Or we could use the spare key," Arizona suggested.

Cristina laughed and ran in the apartment, before returning holding up the key triumphantly. Arizona leant against the wall as she waited for Cristina to return with a bottle of wine.

"Yay!" she clapped and took the bottle. "I wish I could open it with my teeth…"

Cristina laughed and slid down the wall next to the blonde. Arizona looked at her and studied her profile.

"You going to let him move in?"

Cristina shrugged.

"Sometimes you just need to take that risk," the blonde continued. "Just jump in and allow yourself be surprised."

Cristina raised her eyebrows, "Like you and Sugarpuff or you and she-who-shall-not-be-named."

Arizona shook her head, "I miss her… and I don't even know where she is… Cristina, what are you waiting for? Move in with him… we will have someone to get rid of the spiders for us… take a dive… I don't know."

"You're drunk and I am going to bed," Cristina announced as she stood up.

The blonde watched her re-enter the apartment and thought out loud, "Take the dive."

**************

"Hang on a minute," the tall woman yelled at the incessant banging on her door. She pulled it open, allowing her eyes adjust to the brightness of the hallway lights. She looked stunned to meet blue eyes. "Arizona! What are you doing here?"

Arizona pushed herself towards the tall woman, kissing her forcefully, before whispering, "Kissing you."

Lily grinned, "You're drunk…"

"Want me to leave?" Arizona said as she pulled the taller woman's vest up, caressing the pale skin beneath.

"God no!" Lily uttered meeting the smaller woman's lips. She felt herself pushed against the wall, and her vest pulled over her head. She felt hands on her breasts and lips on her neck. "What's gotten into you?"

Arizona pulled away, and met the green eyes filled with desire. She took of her own shirt before leaning close to meet the tall woman's lips, "I'm taking a dive."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five:**

_The brunette grabbed the blonde's hand pulling her towards her, kissing her hard. She ignored the smaller woman's struggle. She put her hands to the small woman's face, kissing the lips, begging to be kissed back._

"_I'm so sorry… I love you," she whispered as she pushed the woman against the door. She groaned as the blonde finally returned the forceful kisses. She felt fingers in her hair, and being pulled closer. She placed her knee between the woman's legs, hearing the frustrated growl against her lips. She kissed her again, relishing the feel of their tongues duelling. She pushed the woman's shirt up, allowing her hands to roam the flawless skin._

"_God, I love you so much Arizona. It was a mistake… I love you."_

_The blonde pushed her back, her blue eyes glistening with tears. She straightened her shirt, ignoring the confusion on the taller woman's face. She opened the door, looking back at the hurt dark eyes._

"_Sometimes love isn't enough."_

* * *

"Toni! Wait!" Callie shouted as she ran out the clinic door. She chased after the running boy before finally catching him. She grabbed him by the shoulders, turning him to her. "Phew! I should exercise more… Toni, I am sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you."

The young boy was still angry with her and refused to speak. Callie sighed, "It's just that you walk in after weeks of not seeing you with a black eye and you don't tell me why, nor will you tell me where you've been… I just want to help."

Toni shook her off, "There's nothing to help… I just got hit with the ball."

Callie nodded, "Okay, okay…"

She kissed his forehead, "I just miss you… want some breakfast?"

Toni thought about it for a moment before smiling weakly, "I should go to work."

Callie grabbed Toni's hand as he went to run off, "Tone, promise me if you're in trouble you will come to me…"

Toni hugged the brunette tightly, "You worry too much…"

Callie sighed as she watched the boy run away, yelling at his little brother to stay behind. She knew he was lying.

She smiled at Paco, "What about you shrimp? You want breakfast?"

Paco frowned, "I am not a shrimp… you're a shrimp!"

She laughed and returned to the clinic, knowing the small boy was hot on her heels.

******************

"You need to keep taking your medication Carmen?" Callie reprimanded as she felt the middle-aged woman's tummy, "And you have to get that scan."

Carmen tutted, "I have no time or money for that."

"What about the voucher I gave you?" Callie asked as she pulled the woman's shirt down. "You're sick and you need treatment."

Carmen looked ashamed and looked over at Paco who was currently playing doctor on her small grandchild's doll. She smiled as the little girl giggled when Paco donned his serious look while listening through his stethoscope. She looked back at the dark impatient eyes.

"Who will look after Maribel?"

Callie watched the little girl squeal and smiled, "You need to get to San Angela soon. Maribel can stay with me."

Carmen looked at her with doubt, "Dr. Torres, you're too busy for a little girl, and she isn't a doctor's assistant like Paco."

Paco lifted his head towards them at the mention of his name and offered a brilliant smile.

"Isn't that right, Paco? You going to be a doctor," Carmen chuckled before looking at Callie. "I'll think about it."

Callie took Carmen's hand, "Think of her."

She watched the woman swallow the offered pills and frowned as she coughed.

"I'll take you myself tomorrow," Callie smiled.

Carmen smiled weakly, "I'm scared."

"I know you are," Callie nodded as she packed her kit. "I will be back tomorrow, and we will go."

Callie looked over at Paco, "How is your patient doctor?"

Paco picked up the doll and smiled widely, his dimples adorning his cheeks as his dark eyes glittered, "Stuffed."

Callie laughed loudly, "Great… tomorrow Carmen."

Carmen nodded.

******************

"Paco!" Callie yelled, "Get off that wall, you'll break something."

Paco grinned as he jumped off the wall, "I wrote you a story."

"You did?" Callie smiled as she rounded the corner. "What's it about?"

"A space-man with a broken rocket," Paco answered as he kicked stones out of the way. "And he breaks it on the moon… and he has to fix it with bandages."

"Sounds great. I can't wait to read it," Callie smiled as she swung open the door to the clinic. She saw Felipe giving a patient a check up and Jorge busy on the phone. She also saw Ines much to her surprise.

"Mama!" Paco said with joy. Ines smiled widely at her son before looking at Callie with worried eyes. She mouthed to say something and Callie just nodded.

"Rita, you need some help filing, don't you?"

Rita smiled at Paco, "I don't know if he can do it… he doesn't know his alphabet."

"I so do!" Paco pouted and stamped his foot.

"Then you can help me," Rita laughed as the little boy ran to her, climbing up onto the chair.

Callie led Ines outside and watched her light up a cigarette. She watched as the woman eyed the streets. The tall, slender woman, attractive but looked aged. It was difficult to believe that she was only twenty-six. Callie touched her arm gently.

"Ines, is everything okay?"

"Toni is in trouble," Ines whispered, inhaling her cigarette deeply. "He has been for a while… Callie, he works for the Valcones."

"Jesus!" Callie was barely audible, "What… How… what does…"

Ines started shaking with tears and Callie took a deep breath, "How can I help?"

Ines shook her head, "I don't know… God, Callie! I know you think I am a terrible mother, but I never wanted this… I always wanted better… I just never knew how."

Callie wrapped her arms around the slim woman, "Sshhh… we will fix this."

She ushered the woman back into the clinic, and saw Paco's smile fade.

"Mama?" his lips trembled. "Mama, are you hurt?

"Paco, your Mama and I are going to go upstairs and have some coffee…"

Paco wrapped his arms around his mother's waist, "Mama, don't cry. Callie will make you all better."

Ines smiled weakly, and let herself be led up the stairs. She sat in the kitchen as Callie poured coffee for them both.

Jorge entered and watched them both, getting ready to leave but the brunette stopped him.

"Toni is working for the Valcones," Callie informed him calmly.

"Shit," Jorge exhaled as he sat down. "Why the hell did he do?"

Ines moaned, "He wanted to pay for Paco to go to school… and I couldn't afford it… and he wanted…"

Callie, wanting to momentarily spare the woman her guilt, interrupted, "How do we get him out?"

Ines whispered, "Only one way a Valcone leaves the Valcones, and that's dead… Oh my God! My beautiful boy… I failed!"

Callie knelt before her, "Ines listen to me, those two boys are great little boys… and they love you so much… we will get him out."

"How?"

Callie took the phone from Jorge's hand and dialled rapidly, looking at the man, "Where can lost boys go?"

Jorge thought as Callie waited for her call to be connected.

"School? There must be a private school somewhere…"

"He can't read," Ines argued.

"He can learn," Callie answered almost harshly. "We will send him abroad… Mexico City… they have great schools…. Pick up."

Callie tapped her finger nails on the counter, "Daddy… thank God… hi, I know, I am fine… Daddy, just stop talking and listen… I need money and I need you to pull some strings… I have a kid here who needs to leave… can you get him into San Eloisa school in… Please daddy, this is not just any kid… Please!"

She hung up after more pleads and a promise.

Ines looked at her with fear and Callie smiled, "Has he an identity card and a birth certificate?"

Ines nodded.

*******************

"Paco, say goodbye to your brother," Ines pleaded as she held her older son's hand. Toni looked frightened and kept looking at Callie.

She was packing his brand new backpack with new clothes, a new soccer ball and showing him where his airline ticket and national card was. "Rodrigo will pick you up. He is my cousin and a good man. He will show you where the school is."

She saw his fear and stepped closer, "It's going to be difficult but you're going to be a superstar… I promise you Toni… you're going to be incredible…"

Toni smiled weakly as he clutched Callie tightly into a hug. The brunette looked over at Paco who was crying pitifully as his mother reasoned with him.

"Please Paco, this is the last time you will see him… say Goodbye," Ines cried at her son.

"No!" Paco yelled trying to escape his mother's grasp.

Callie knew the pain of goodbye, remembering it all to well. She had been standing in the streets of Seattle staring up at an apartment block. She had been ignoring the patience of her taxi driver as she stood waiting. When finally the shadow of the blonde she broke appeared at the window, she whispered, "Goodbye."

Callie looked at him, "Paco, it's never goodbye forever… it's just bye for now."

Paco looked at his big brother, his terrified big brother and wiped his own tears away.

He gave him some scraps of paper, "It's my spaceman story… when you get to school, you can read it."

Toni nodded, smiling weakly as his small brother wrapped his arms around him.

"Car is here," Jorge announced as he opened the door.

Toni gulped as he led his small family into the darkness. He watched his mother sob and his little brother cling to her.

He gave them one last hug before turning to get in the car, smiling at Callie. He looked back and took a big breath. He got into the car and was slowly driven away.

Callie watched the broken woman with her grieving small boy and her heart tore, and she looked back at the departing car which had suddenly stopped.

"Mama!" Toni yelled as he ran back into her arms, "Mama, don't cry… I am going to make you so proud of me Mama, and I am going to come and get you and Paco, and we're going to live in a big house… Mama, please don't cry."

He pulled back and wiped her tears, "Mama, I'll get you but you got to promise me.., Promise me, Paco will go to school too… please, promise me!"

Ines nodded, kissing her boy's face over and over, "I promise."

She watched as her eldest son ran back to the car, oblivious to the dark shadows looming over them. She was oblivious to the roar of an engine. She was oblivious to the sound of scattering feet as she watched Toni run to the car, Paco following him waving. She was oblivious to the darkness and the silence. She was oblivious until she heard Callie yell.

"GUN!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter ****Six:**

"_I can't talk about this anymore," the blonde said as she continued past the brunette, through the corridors of the hospital._

"_Listen to me, please!" the brunette begged as she chased her. "I am so sorry… it was a foolish mistake and I meant nothing by it. I want you. I love you…"_

_The blonde noticed the audience they were gathering and pulled the brunette into an empty on-call room. _

"_I will do anything to make this up to," the brunette continued. "Please let me."_

_The blonde sighed, "Callie…"_

"_Callie?" The brunette repeated, feeling her heart shatter._

_The blonde saw the pain, but it didn't defeat the torment she was currently suffering. She whispered, "Callie, it isn't what you did that hurts, it's what you said…I can't forgive nor can I forget what you said."_

_The brunette looked stunned and watched the blonde open the door to leave. _

* * *

"Okay, Amber…" Arizona smiled at the young girl. "You all set for your surgery."

"Do I have a choice?" the girl replied nonchalantly.

The blonde laughed and shook her head, "With any luck, this could be the last time."

"I've heard that before," the girl stated as she put her magazine.

Arizona understood the teen's frustration as this was the fourth kidney transplant in fourteen years. She sat on the edge of the bed and smiled.

"I can't promise anything but I have a good feeling about this one, and as I am awesome and have magical powers I can be trusted."

The teen raised an eyebrow and shook her head, "Dr. Robbins, you're a strange woman."

Arizona laughed and stood up, "After this you will be saying 'Dr. Robbins, you're an awesome woman.'"

The teen just rolled her eyes and watched as the new gurney was wheeled on.

Arizona waited until the girl was transported to the other gurney before bending to whisper into her ear, "Remember awesome!"

She left to get prepared for said surgery, reaching into her pocket for her cell, and smiled at the text message. She went to reply but saw Sloan approaching her.

"Robbins! I need you in the ER."

She shook her head, "I have surgery now. Get Karev…"

"The kid wants you and only you," Sloan persisted.

"Who is it?"

"Penis-boy," Mark answered.

Arizona shook her head, raising her eyes in confusion, "Who?"

Mark placed his hand on his groin and mimicked being unable to movie it to which Arizona pushed him.

"That is unnecessary," She sighed, looking at the clock. "Is it an emergency?"

"He just gone and swallowed a bottle of pills," Mark answered.

"What!" Arizona exclaimed, ordering the nurse to tell Bailey to commence the surgery without her. She ran down the corridor quickly followed by the plastic surgeon.

"Robbins! Arizona! He is not in any danger!" He yelled finally getting her to stop running. She turned to him. He spoke quickly while trying to catch his breath, "His stomach has been pumped, but he won't talk to the shrink. He said he will talk only to you."

"You could have said that first. In that case, I am going to surgery," she informed him as she retraced her steps.

"And the kid?"

Arizona felt trapped, "I promised Amber awesomeness."

Mark smirked.

"Okay, two minutes!"

* * *

"Hey Jacob," Arizona said as she pulled the curtains open. She studied the small boy, who looked exhausted and pale, lying alone in the cubicle. "Where is your mother?"

"Gone back to work," he answered sullenly. "Apparently, I am only worth being with if I am dying."

Arizona heart went to the boy as she sat next to him, "I'm sure that's not true…"

"Really? Then why she isn't here!"

His anger couldn't be ignored as she reached for his hand, "Sometimes parents do things we don't understand, but that doesn't make us any less special as people."

"I hate being alive!"

"Jacob, listen to me… being alive hurts a lot sometimes. And all you want is to sleep forever and ignore it… but trust me, when you have a good day, you will be so happy to be alive."

Jacob's dark eyes teared up as he buried his head in her shoulder, "It never stops…"

"Oh sweetheart, are the kids still bad in school?"

She felt him nod against her shoulder, so she continued, "And at home?"

She felt a nod again and growled as her pager started beeping. She pulled back and read it. "Jacob, I need to get to surgery, but I'll be back later… okay?"

She didn't expect a response, and she lifted his chin with her hand, "It'll get better… I'll help."

She stepped out of the cubicle and saw Karev waiting for her. He shrugged, "That's one messed up kid."

Arizona nodded, "Call Social Services…"

* * *

The blonde stood at the nurse's station filling in charts, ignoring the inane gossiping amongst the nurses. She smiled when she felt the soft touch of a hand on her lower back. She turned, smiling widely when she met the green eyes of her lover.

"Hey you," she said happily.

"You won't be so happy when I tell you I'm cancelling on you for a change," Lily joked.

Arizona pouted, "Oh… why?"

"I have quadruplets on the way… want in?"

Arizona was tempted but shook her head, "Am beat for the day… just going to do rounds and then go home and sleep."

"Want me to wake you later?" Lily asked wriggling her eyebrows and laughed when she saw the smaller woman blush. She kissed her quickly ignoring the nurses before turning to leave.

Arizona smiled as she watched the tall, slim woman leave. She turned back to her charts, scribbling her signature at the end of one before shaking her head. She Heeley-ed after the dark-haired woman into the elevator. She pushed her against the wall, kissing her softly, running her fingers through the long straight hair. She didn't pull back until the doors opened again. She grinned at the stunned woman and shrugged, "Just wanted to say that I like your hair that way… see you later."

She could hear Lily chuckle as the doors closed and she returned to her own floor. She felt elated for a change. She grabbed her charts and started her rounds. She walked into Amber's room and smiled as her mother nudged the groggy teenager.

She looked at the charts and smiled, "Well everything looks really super… incredibly super… awesome even…"

Amber chuckled softly before groaning, "You are still strange… and awesome."

Arizona grinned widely, displaying her dimples in their full glory, "I didn't quite catch that."

Amber smiled, "Thank you Dr. Robbins, you're awesome."

"Ain't I just?" She stated and walked out.

She continued in and out of rooms until she had finished, her smile never once faltering. She went straight into the attendings lounge knocking into Mark Sloan.

"Oh sorry," she said without looking at him. He nodded, not expecting anymore.

He went to pour himself coffee, before turning to see the blonde facing him, wearing her coat and fiddling with the strap of her bag.

"You okay, Robbins?"

"I'm happy… I'm happy without her. I never thought I could be. I didn't think it was possible but I am."

Mark nodded not knowing what to say, "Good Robbins… that's good."

"Is she?"

Mark shook his head, "I hope so."

Arizona nodded, "So do I… I really do."

Mark watched the blonde leave, noting it was the first time they had talked about anything other than work since Torres had disappeared from Seattle. He saw she was happy, but in his mind, it didn't compare.

Arizona pulled across the curtains, noting the silent and sullen boy sitting on the edge of the bed. She had already been greeted by the social worker and his somewhat irate mother.

"Hey Jacob, how you feeling?"

The boy ignored her.

"I see the Social Worker is here… just to help you."

He turned away from her.

"Jacob," she pleaded. "He is going to try and help you and your mother is talking about moving you to a different school… we're fixing this."

"Go away!"

Arizona was stunned at the anger in his voice but she persisted.

"Jacob, we're trying to help…"

Jacob turned to her, anger flashed in his dark eyes, "No you're not… you don't want me, no one does… you promised… and you don't care… just go away!"

Arizona approached him but he pushed her hand off his shoulder, before yelling, "Leave me alone!"

"Dr. Robbins," the blonde turned to the social worker. "Best you leave now."

She nodded and turned back to Jacob, "Jacob, I promise it will stop one day…"

She saw no reaction and sighed. Her joy was over.

***************

She stirred slightly as she felt Lily get into bed and kissed her back, but without the passion that passed earlier.

Lily sat up, rubbing the blonde's tummy, "Everything okay?"

Arizona shook her head, "Just this kid… so angry and hurt… and I could do nothing."

Lily lay down next to her, pulling her close, "That's why I work with babies, they don't have anger perfected yet… Ari, you can't save them all."

Arizona nodded, "Still sucks though."

She felt lips against her neck and heard her lover's soft whisper into her ear, "That's what I love about you… you care."

Arizona moved her head back, "What did you say?"

Lily paused and smiled, looking into the blue eyes watching her, "I said, I love you Arizona Robbins."

Arizona leant up to meet the other lips in a deep kiss.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven:**

_The blonde leant in and kissed the brunette before opening the attendings lounge door. _

"_I'm sorry about the weekend," she said and the brunette shrugged. The blonde continued, "I was looking forward to it too."_

"_I know… it's just frustrating," the brunette replied. "I'll see you tonight."_

_The blonde smiled, "I'll be late…"_

"_Tis okay, I have a bottle of tequila to keep my company til you return," the brunette grinned cheekily._

"_Calliope, be careful," the blonde admonish._

"_Stop sounding like my mother," the brunette ordered. "I will see you tonight."_

"_Yes you shall," the blonde smiled widely before turning away._

* * *

The bullets bounced of bricks, glass and metal. The rattling of machine guns seemed incessant, the burning of rubber foul and the roar of the engine deafening. But it was the silence that was more deafening. When the bullets stopped, the engine gone, the air settled… that was when the silence hurt.

Callie lifted her head, feeling blood trickle past her ear. She touched the cut, wincing as she found the source. For a moment she thought she had lost her senses until the piercing scream filled the air. She looked up and saw Ines cradling her son, screaming over and over again. She scrambled to her feet, running to the woman, and gasped as she saw the blood, the never-ending stream of blood.

"Toni…" she whispered, falling to her knees. "Oh God…" She reached for his neck, trying to find a pulse before placing her head to his chest. "Ines, you need to let his go… Paco?"

She looked around and saw Jorge holding the terrified boy. She scooped Toni up in her arms and ran towards the clinic, knowing she was being followed. She barged into the clinic.

"It's Toni! He's been shot… help me please."

She never needed to ask as Felipe had already the door to their surgery open and Rita was already shooing out their patients. She placed Toni gently on the table. She grabbed the scissors to cut open his t-shirt, ignoring his limp arms.

"Oh shit," Felipe exclaimed as he watched blood ooze from different areas of the boy's torso. "Callie, I can't feel a pulse…"

"Give him CPR then!" she yelled as she counted the four open wounds. "I need to open his chest… scalpel!"

"Callie," Rita offered gently.

"Dammit Rita! Give me the scalpel!"

She saw that she was being ignored and she started CPR herself.

"One… two… three! Come on Toni! Think of school! Think of your Mama… think of Paco. One… two… three… Breathe…"

She felt arms wrapped around her and pushed them off.

"Breathe…" her voice cracked. "Please breathe… help me dammit!"

She felt Felipe's hands on her own, and could feel the eruption of sobs leave her body. She shook her head, "No… we can't stop… Oh God no! Toni, breathe."

"Callie," Rita whispered gently, tears streaming down her cheeks. "He's gone… Toni is gone."

Callie looked up at her, her eyes blurred with tears before looking back at the limp body of the twelve year old she had grown to love. She felt another surge of sobs through her body as she leant on the table. Her tears mixed with the blood as Rita and Felipe stood by helplessly watching her.

"Give me a moment," she begged after a few moments. She heard the door shut softly and the loud scream from Ines. She shut her eyes, pushing back her tears before looking down at Toni. She brushed his long fringe from his eyes, kissing his forehead softly, before stroking his face with tenderness.

"I'm so sorry Tone… I'm so sorry… I should have… Oh God, I should have done so much… but you have one more thing to do for me… just one more thing… you need to look good for your Mama."

She filled a basin with cold water, and slowly started washing away the redness from the dark skin, washing him clean of his cruel death. She washed everything away until all that was left was his innocence. She then gently covered him with a sheet, leaving only his face which was of peace and it was only then she saw his hand clutching something. She opened it gently and felt new tears spring to her eyes as she saw a picture of a space-man adorned with neat hand-writing.

"Oh Toni… I am so sorry," she wept as she brushed the last strand of loose hair from his face. She wrapped his fingers around the thin sheets of paper. "I'm so sorry."

She kissed him softly on the forehead, "You sleep now… my gorgeous boy."

****************

She stepped into the clinic where she saw the red-eyed Ines clutching her younger son close to her. She struggled to speak and it took a few deep breaths before she could finally utter her words.

"Do you want to see him?"

She watched as Ines walked in, followed slowly by a mute Paco.

She heard a new cry, and that was Paco begging his big brother to wake up. She felt the urge to throw up and ran outside. She round the corner of the clinic, emptying the contents of her stomach in the darkness. She cried as she leant against the wall, looking up at the night sky. She wrapped the arms around herself, feeling very alone. She suddenly gasped for air, realising that she was holding her breath in. She felt new tears and the urge to scream when she saw she was being watched.

"Paco," she whispered, holding her arms open for him. She saw that he wasn't moving so approached him, seeing him move backwards. She gasped when she saw the hatred in the dark eyes. "Paco, sweetheart… I'm so sorry."

"It's your fault! You killed him! You made him leave! If you didn't he would be here… and you're a doctor! You're supposed to fix him. You killed him!"

Callie felt each element of her very being break at the accusations the little boy was hurling at her. She tried to grab him but he kept moving backwards. "Paco, please…"

"I hate you!" He yelled as he ran off.

"Paco!" she yelled as she chased after him. "Wait! Paco! Stop!"

She heard the thud before she acknowledged the screech of the tires. She watched the car continue driving, ignoring its damage.

"No, no, no… no! Paco!" she screamed as she saw his little body lying against the side of the road. She fell to her knees beside him, "Please… God no!"

*******************

She paced the cold tiles, praying to everything she could think off. She couldn't stop looking at the clock seeing that time was slowing down at a torturous pace. She saw Ines wringing her hands, covered with the blood of both her sons. She wanted desperately to wash them but was scared to approach the young woman. Her guilt was painful enough without looking into the empty dark eyes of a mother who lost her sons. She looked at Jorge who was filled with guilt, muttering over and over to himself.

She knew he was repeating the same thing she was in her head, if only Toni stayed in the car. It took everything in her to get Paco stable and transported to San Angela. She knew she couldn't save the little boy but here he had a chance. She looked back at the clock, frustrated at its slow second hand.

She heard footsteps and turned to the white coated surgeon who frowned at them. She took a deep breath, praying again as she waited to hear the inevitable.

"We had to remove his spleen, and part of his liver. His lung was perforated so we had to perform a chest tube for him to breathe… but he is stable…"

Ines threw herself at him, thanking him over and over, before allowing the nurse to lead her to her little boy's bedside.

Callie thanked God in her head, allowing herself to breathe again at a normal rate before turning to the surgeon. She knew that expression as she wore it herself on many occasions.

"What is it?"

The surgeon sighed and looked at the exhausted brunette, "The damage to his spine is irreparable. He will never walk again."

Callie fell back into a chair, feeling the dreams of an eight year old vanish. She shook her head knowing she had no more tears. She knew Jorge was talking to the surgeon but was not hearing the words. This was all her fault and she knew it.

She felt Jorge sit next to her and take her hand. She looked at him and saw his face drained of emotion. She suddenly felt a surge of anger and questions.

"How did they know Jorge? How did the Valcones know?"

Jorge said nothing and she sneered, "Of course… you bastard!"

Jorge met her eyes, his own riddled with guilt, "I warned you about getting attached."

Callie laughed bitterly, "Only way to leave the Valcones is in a body bag, right?"

"Callie, you're not being fair… I had to… they know you have a relationship with the boys and they would have ruined us if I didn't tell them…"

"You care more about the damn clinic than you do about a little boy's life!" She yelled.

"That is not true… why do you think we were never attacked or raided or… why do you think they left us alone… don't be so damned naïve!"

"I can't hear this," Callie shouted, turning away. "I really can't… I can't look at you! Go!"

When he didn't move she reiterated her demand with a barking shout, "GO!"

She fell back on her chair, letting her face fall into her hands, smelling soap and blood of them. She felt alone, a loneliness indescribable by words but heart-wrenchingly painful by feeling.

*****************

She watched the sleeping boy and the young woman keeping vigil. Ines looked at her, inviting her over. Callie stepped closer, wanting to apologise but words failed her. Ines nodded before whispering, "He'll never walk… how do I tell him when he wakes up that he will never walk?"

Callie didn't know what to say. She looked at the x-rays pinned to his chart and frowned before looking at Ines. "Give me a moment."

She stepped out of the quiet room, feeling the coldness of the tiles around her and the emptiness of the hospital even though it was filled with people. She reached out her phone, dialling with trembling fingers. She took a breath with each ring, terrified of what she was about to do.

A woman's voice answered and she almost dropped the phone. She struggled to speak, and could hear the woman's impatience.

"Hi, I need to speak to Dr. Derek Shepherd. Tell him it's Dr. Callie Torres."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

_The blonde paced the length of her apartment rolling the unlit cigarette between her fingers. She stared at the phone wanting to pick it up but shaking her head every time she approached it. She paced towards the framed photo of her and the brunette, crying. She wanted to smash it but she knew she couldn't. She let her fingers reach for the necklace the brunette had bought her, feeling anger, hurt and frustration surge through her. She needed air._

_She went to the window looking out as the early hours blanketed Seattle. She sighed, watching cars and taxis weave between others. She saw a taxi start its engine and suddenly she wished she could escape. She screamed at the emptiness of her apartment. _

_She went to the phone and frowned when it went straight to voice-mail. She grabbed her bag and coat… it wasn't too late. She could try… it wasn't too late._

* * *

"I will see you tonight," Arizona purred as she kissed the tall woman at her door. Lily nuzzled her nose making the smaller blonde giggle. Lily kissed her again and left. Arizona grinned before turned to Christina who looked truly repulsed.

"You can't make me watch that again," Christina ordered as she returned to her cereal. "Ever!"

Arizona frowned as she grabbed some fruit, "Scrooge!"

"I am not Scrooge… I am Jewish," Christina said with her mouth full. "That was just gross."

"I don't complain about you and Owen," Arizona argued.

"That's because we don't do that…" Christina replied. "It's like the whole you hang up first, no you hang up… it's sick!"

Arizona laughed as she sat on the couch, and Christina shrugged putting her bowl on the sideboard.

"You not in?"

"Late shift," Arizona boasted as she lay back on the couch grabbing her book. "So I am going to… well, I just don't know, but it will be super."

She realised Christina had already left and chuckled. She returned to her book.

After reading the same page six times, the blonde knew she was too distracted to read. She thought about her choices; catch up on emails to which she groaned, clean to which she stuck her tongue out, watch Finding Nemo… she smiled: that will do.

*****************

She arrived at the hospital, walking straight to the PEDs ward. She saw her charts still waiting on the table in the conference rooms and smiled as she remembered how she was distracted from them by her lover. She stepped inside, picking up one, frowning at the name on top.

"Oh Jacob," she sighed. "You poor kid."

She started to read it. She went to sit down when Little Grey knocked on the door. She smiled at the young woman.

"Dr. Robbins, I am on your service today," Lexie offered.

"You are…. Super!" Arizona grinned. "Oh… rounds."

She dropped the chart before following the over-eager resident.

She was soon met with a gaggle of doctors and greeted them warmly, "Ready to spread some magic."

She watched rolled eyes and faked smiles and frowned, "Where is the future of PEDs?"

She led them into the first room, "Hey Tyler."

The tiny boy giggled as she passed him her doctor bear before she looked at his mother, "How is he?"

"He slept through the night," his mother gushed.

Arizona grinned widely, "That's super! Okay, Dr. Jeffries, want to present?"

"Tyler Ward, born with short-gut syndrome, so can't absorb nutrients. His current treatment is TPN, but he is on the waiting list for a bowel transplant."

"So what are we doing until then?" Arizona smiled at the little boy. She hated these cases because she had yet to see a good outcome.

"We're tapering his intestine," Lexie shouted out.

Arizona grimaced at the eagerness, "Doesn't that sound awesome Tyler."

The toddler giggled and rolled to his mother who was trying to avoid showing her concern. Arizona placed a hand on her arm and smiled warmly, "It's scary I know… but I believe this will get us more time."

She looked at Jeffries and Grey, "Okay, you two prep him for surgery… the rest of you come with me."

She went into the next room and smiled at her next patient.

* * *

She watched as Tyler went under the effects of anaesthesia before looking around. She glanced up at the gallery seeing it filled with interns and young residents. She suddenly felt nervous as she did at the beginning of every surgery she did, reminding herself that she was great. She looked up at the clock, noting her beginning time.

"Okay, let's be awesome!"

She sliced the soft skin open with ease and studied the bowel and intestines with her light before deciding her procedure.

"The kid's got no bowel," Jeffries stated.

Arizona nodded, "He does… just little to work with… this is going to take longer than I thought."

She started to work, noting each hour that had passed and new faces in the gallery.

"Why do I feel like I am making organs out of nothing?" the blonde exhaled, stretching her back and stepping back to have her forehead wiped.

"Well, can't we?" Bailey asked as she stitched his intestine. Arizona looked at her with a questioning look.

"Hmm…" she thought as she stepped back to the table. "We could put a balloon…"

"We could…" Bailey concurred. "And if we do that…"

"We could widen the tract," Arizona announced with joy.

"Grey, get Cardio and their fancy balloons," Bailey barked and ignored Arizona's giggle.

"This is exciting," the blonde squealed ignoring the short woman's rolled eyes.

She looked back at the clock, noting the fifth hour into the surgery. She advised for more anaesthesia and saw the gallery filling with excited doctors, including her room-mate.

"Think we've suddenly excited them all?" Arizona asked as Bailey looked up. "Am still waiting for Shepherd to walk in and yell at us."

Bailey snorted, "Shepherd doesn't yell at me."

Arizona gave her a questioning look and laughed, "That's because you're scary."

Lexie returned with a newly-scrubbed in Altman who looked confused as to why she was in for this sort of surgery.

Arizona quickly explained her plan to Altman whose confusion grew to intrigue. The blonde looked back up at the gallery and saw that Lily had also ventured in to watch. She suddenly felt nervous again and allowed herself though wrongfully she felt, remember the soft dark eyes, gentle yet strong hands and the tenderly spoken words, 'You are great'.

"Okay, let's do this," the blonde announced.

*******************

As they had approached their eighth hour of surgery, the blonde couldn't help notice the excitement in the gallery. She saw Meredith Grey hurriedly whispering to Karev and Christina, before all three of them glanced at her before whispering again and running out. She noticed that Bailey's pager went off three times, and all three them were ignored by her.

On the fourth occasion, Bailey barked at Lexie to find out what the hell was going on. It was on her return, she looked at Arizona who was busy tying in the balloon to acknowledge her.

"Excuse me Dr. Bailey, can I speak to you privately?"

"Dr. Grey, can you or can you not see that I have my hands around the intestine of a very small child?" Bailey barked unamused.

"Dr. Bailey, it's very important…"

"And it's private?" Bailey spat out. The blonde was looking at Lexie now who looked petrified.

"Please, Dr. Bailey… it's really important…"

Bailey rolled her eyes, "Fine, Dr. Altman… could you?"

Teddy nodded, taking her place as Bailey approached her resident with annoyance written in her eyes. Arizona watched as Bailey reacted immediately to what Lexie said, excusing herself immediately with the younger of the Greys hot on her tail.

"What the hell is going on?" Teddy asked.

Arizona shrugged, "Okay, we're ready for that…

***************

Arizona hugged Emily Ward before leaving her. She frowned as she returned to the PEDs ward, noting its commotion. She weaved her way through the crowd.

"Since when is this the place to be," she announced loudly, as she approached the room Karev and Christina were standing at.

Christina turned to her trying to grab her arm but Arizona was already inside the room.

The world felt as if it had closed in on her, and the floor felt like it had vanished from beneath her. The sounds and noises disappeared from around her that all she could hear was her own gasp as blue eyes met brown eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine:**

"_Why did you do it?" The blonde asked calmly._

_The brunette shook her head, placing her face between her hands as she sat in the couch. She was tired, her emotions running her ragged. _

"_I don't know… I was…"_

"_I swear to God, if you say drunk I am leaving right now…"_

_The brunette jumped at the raised voice, "I was going to say stupid…"_

_The blonde sighed and sat on the chair opposite, "Something wasn't working for it to happen in the first place…"_

_The brunette shook her head yet again, "Don't say that…"_

"_You know it's true, and I don't know what it is… but you do," the blonde was barely audible._

_The brunette didn't speak. She could hear the water dripping from the tap slowly, the sound of a car horn on the street below, a door slam further down the corridor. She looked back up at the waiting blue eyes._

_The blonde edged closer to the edge of the seat, forcing the eye contact to continue, "Please, just be honest…"_

_The brunette felt the ache in her heart and remembered why they were there in the first place. She swallowed, "Everything is the same, and nothing is new… it's just…."_

*****************

Arizona stood back feeling Christina behind her. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the dark eyes watching her, the eyes filled with anger, hurt and confusion, yet hollow at the same time.

Callie watched the confusion and shock dance in the blue eyes before her and couldn't stop looking. She felt weak and fell to her chair.

"I tried to stop her," Yang stated to a glaring Bailey who continued to reprimand her with her eyes. "She's too fast…"

"I… I… I… I need to…" Arizona stuttered as she tried to turn away. "I ca- I can't… Callio… I-I-I need to go."

Arizona moved through the crowd that had gathered, feeling the walls tumble around her. She wanted to escape the hospital, escape those dark eyes. She felt tears spring to her eyes as she ran down the stairs not caring who she knocked over or ignored. It wasn't until Derek Shepherd caught her that she finally stopped running.

"Dr. Robbins," Shepherd said gently. He studied her pale face and knew he was too late to tell her. "Let's talk…"

"I can't… I need air…"

*******************

Callie couldn't take her eyes away from the emptiness that once had Arizona standing in it. She knew she was not going to be able to avoid the blonde, but she wasn't prepared for the storm of emotions she currently felt as she saw her.

"Torres!" Bailey called gently. "Do you want some coffee?"

Callie shook her head before turning her attention to the sleeping boy in the bed. Paco had not woken since they landed and she was grateful for that. She knew he was petrified, strange country, different language and no familiar faces. Callie couldn't get Ines through customs; it was a battle enough just getting Paco through.

She saw people staring at her through the window and was relieved when Bailey noticed them too. She wore a ghost of a smile as she heard Bailey yell at them to be doctors for once in their lives.

Callie took the small pale hand in between hers, bringing it to her lips, kissing it softly. Bailey couldn't help but watch her. This was not the Dr. Torres, she remembered. This was a shell of the feisty doctor that used to walk the walls of the hospital.

"Eh… well he's stable. We'll get him settled for the night and then have his CT and MRI done tomorrow."

Callie nodded.

"You should go home…" Bailey realised the error of her words and saw Callie smirk. "Where are you staying?"

Before Callie could answer, the door opened and Mark Sloan walked in. He was surprised to see his friend after all this time.

"I heard… God, it's good to see you." He said with glee as he pulled her into a hug.

*******************

Christina and Owen walked into the apartment and immediately noticed the cigarette smoke. They saw the blonde standing at the window, staring out at the world as she inhaled on her cigarette.

"You smoke?" Christina before Owen nudged her. She rolled her eyes, "You talk to her?"

"You're her room-mate," Owen argued.

"You're nicer," Christina volleyed.

"I can hear you," the blonde interrupted the couple. She looked back at them. She saw concern etched in the redhead's face and apathy in Christina's. "It's okay, I am not going to break… it was just a shock."

"And you're smoking because…" Christina added disapprovingly.

Arizona raised an eyebrow, "If it were Burke?"

Christina threw her hands in the air, "Smoke away… want alcohol?"

Arizona shook her head.

"Sleeping pills?"

"Christina!" Owen scolded.

Christina looked at him, "What? It'll help her sleep and not think."

Arizona smiled a ghost of a smile, before stubbing her cigarette out. She looked at the two wanting to say something but there were no words. Her phone started ringing again and she sighed as she shut it off.

"I think I might go to bed," the blonde announced without giving either person eye contact. She walked straight past them into her bedroom, closing the door quietly. She took a deep breath as she pulled her hair free. She lay on the bed listening to the quiet murmurs from the living room before the knock on the door. She sat upright, nerves marching around her stomach.

She reacted to the gentle tapping on her door and saw Christina push it open, "It's Marsh… I mean Lily."

Arizona sighed in relief and disappointment before shaking her head. Christina nodded and closed the door. The blonde listened to the mumbling continue before the door closed again. She pulled the pillow close to her chest, closing her eyes only seeing the hollowness that was once filled with joy.

****************

Callie pulled back from Mark's hug, suddenly feeling like a stranger. She smiled weakly at him. He nodded at Bailey who left the room ushering the nurse out with a simple stare. He sat down next to her, studying her.

She looked at him and raised a questioning eyebrow.

"You look like shit," he offered before looking at the sleeping boy. "Who's the kid?"

"Paco," she answered quietly without offering more. Mark nodded, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

"Callie, where the hell have you been? No one knew where you were and your parents were not talking… you just vanished…"

Callie sat back and sighed, "Mark, I have just been through hell… I'm still in hell, and I'm still trying to just figure out how to breathe let alone answer questions…"

Mark saw her tremble and pulled her into a hug, not speaking anymore.

He felt her cry into his chest, clutching his white coat in her fist. It wasn't until he heard her mumbling that he pulled back.

"What did you say?"

Callie shook her head, "Her hair is longer…"

Mark nodded and looked at the kid, "Paco?"

Callie nodded, taking the sleeping boy's hand in her own, "Yeah, he was hit by a car… I am hoping Shepherd can fix him…"

The two old friends sat in silence, one not knowing what to say and the other not wanting to say anything.

"She looks good," Callie murmured.

******************

Arizona woke up suddenly, feeling the sun rays peer through the window. She hugged the pillow closer as she readjusted her eyes to the natural and unnatural light of the ceiling lamp. She felt the pit return to her stomach as she recalled the recent events. She sat up, feeling unsteady. Her fingers went to her scrub top, pulling it over her head. She stood slowly and carefully, willing herself to walk to the bathroom. She turned on the shower, before freeing herself off her clothing. She stepped under the hot water, and watched her skin turn red. She felt hurt turn to anger turn to frustration turn to nothing back to hurt again. She fought the urge to cry and scream as she relived those moments of pain over the last year. It was when she felt calm that she realised the water was freezing. She stepped out of the shower, shivering as she looked at her reflection.

"I am awesome!" she whispered to herself.

*******************

Callie watched the sunrise between the buildings of Seattle, bouncing of the glass. She could hear the gentle footsteps of Seattle Grace staff outside the door, and the soft murmuring from the little boy. He had woken earlier and it took all her energy to calm him and reassure him, and even as he closed his eyes she saw disbelief in his eyes. She closed her eyes as she stirred her cold coffee, seeing the hurt and disbelief dance in blue eyes. She opened them, allowing herself be basked in the light of a new day. She felt everything and nothing, she felt regret and guilt, home and alien, new and old, terrified and calm, desperate and alone, and she couldn't control the feelings as they somersaulted through her over and over. She closed her eyes again, breathing in deeply, as she pulled out the simple necklace from her pocket. She kissed it, the only remnant of the blonde that she could keep and call hers. She looked over at the bed as she returned the necklace to her pocket, and nodded.

"I'm okay," she whispered to nobody.

******************

The blonde doctor stood at the door watching. She saw Callie sleeping, her head resting on the bed, using her arm as a pillow. She looked uncomfortable but protective of the sleeping boy. The dark-haired woman had lost some weight, her wrinkled clothes loose on her. Her hair was untamed, long and wild as it cascaded down her back. Her face almost pale, her dark complexion haunted by tracks of old and new tears. The brunette looked as if she had been through battles, and yet still Arizona found her miraculous. She approached the bed to pick up the chart and glanced at the young boy who was stirring. She stepped closer to him, smiling softly as he opened his eyes.

"Hey," she uttered tenderly, as she noticed the dark-haired woman had also woken. She met dark eyes.

"He doesn't speak English," Callie said after what seemed an eternity of silence. Arizona nodded, begging herself to remain professional. She could feel the eyes watching her as she continued to read the chart. She looked up at the waiting eyes, and swallowed.

"Your nails?" she said, without control.

Callie looked at her fingers, confused. Arizona cleared her throat, "No nail varnish…"

Callie smiled lightly, "No nail varnish."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten:**

_The blonde moved slowly up the stairs. Her back__ was aching from a long day in surgery; her head was beginning to pound from tiredness. She smiled as she heard that voice she loved, and felt a new-found energy to be reunited with her. She stopped as she heard the words being uttered, frowning. She felt the heat of tears in her eyes and the swell in her throat. She shook her head, convincing herself she heard wrong, as she moved faster up the stairs. She dropped her bag._

"_Oh God!"_

*******************

"I want my Mama!" Paco screamed as he pushed Callie's hand away.

"Paco, please," Callie pleaded, trying to persuade the little boy to trust her. She watched as Bailey walked in.

"Everything okay?" she asked gently as she watched the tearful little boy avoid Callie's eye contact. She approached the little boy, automatically understanding the universal plea for a mother. She looked at Callie who was fighting back tears. She put an arm around the small boy, allowing him to bury his head in her chest as he wept. She could not understand being murmured.

"Callie, you should get out of here…"Bailey suggested. "Give both of you a break…"

"I can't leave him. I promised his mother," Callie answered back.

"Go, get coffee, get a shower, change your clothes… just do something."

Callie stared at the short doctor before looking at the fragile little boy, and nodded, "I'll get coffee… and a book… Paco, I'll get you a brand new book."

Callie couldn't help but look back as she left the room, and it hurt to see the boy relax in her absence.

She looked over and saw nurses and doctors moving around, as if separated from her life. She suddenly felt claustrophobic and ran. She ran out of the hospital.

*****************

Arizona watched the dark-haired woman fight an internal battle before running. She frowned and slowly approached the small room. She watched as Bailey sat next to the small boy, soothing him with soft words and gentle strokes through his hair. She smiled as the little boy noticed her.

"Hey," she whispered softly, and Bailey nodded at her. "I really wished you were PEDs."

Bailey smiled, before muttering at her pager. "911…"

She moved away from the boy who immediately grabbed her arm, pleading. She put her hand on his arm and saw fear in his eyes. "Hey, I will come back…"

"I will stay," Arizona volunteered, not knowing why. She knew she was finishing for the day. She knew Lily was waiting for her, yet she knew she was staying. She moved to the other side of the bed, distracting the small boy from her colleague's immediate departure. She smiled widely at him.

"Hi, Paco… I am Arizona," she stated cheerfully, putting her hand out to be shaken. The little boy frowned at it. "Okay, no hand-shakes then… I really wish I knew Spanish now."

She pulled herself up on the bed next to him and saw the paper and crayons next to the bed, "Oh, you draw."

She grabbed the paper and crayons and placed them on the table, wheeling it towards them. Paco stared at them before looking at her. She smiled, "Okay, I'll draw first. I must warn you thought. I am awesome at drawing."

She tapped the crayon against her lips, pondering what her artistic creation should be. She grinned and started scribbling away on the paper. She grinned as she placed her crayon down. Paco picked up the sheet slowly, studying its content.

"Perro," he stated.

Arizona nodded, "Dog."

Paco smiled softly, "Perro."

"Dog," Arizona stated before making barking sounds. Paco smiled again.

She passed the crayon to the little boy who looked at it carefully before taking it and scribbling away.

Arizona studied it as he was drawing and smiled, "Horse?"

"Caballo," Paco declared.

Arizona made neighing sounds and the little boy grinned widely, displaying his dimples. Arizona matched that smile with her own dimples. She took the offered crayon and started drawing.

**************

Callie watched through the glass at the pair competing in a drawing competition. Pages had fallen to the floor as English and Spanish words pierced the air. She couldn't help but smile as Paco started laughing at Arizona's pout. She could understand that Paco was trying to tell the blonde that her picture looked nothing like an elephant. Arizona appeared to understand that too as she continued to draw.

Paco laughed again before noticing Callie. His laughter died and the blonde also looked at her and frowned. She stood up and started picking up the pieces of paper. Callie stepped inside the room. She smiled weakly at Paco as she asked him did he have fun. It hurt her when he didn't answer.

Arizona nodded at her, "We were just drawing. Paco is quite the artist."

Callie nodded as she approached the bed, "Yes he is."

Arizona watched as hurt danced in the dark eyes and wanted to intervene. "I should go… I… I finished my shift."

She turned to Paco, smiling widely, "I will see you tomorrow."

*************

Arizona smiled as she greeted Lily, "I am so sorry… I got held up."

Lily shrugged and stood up, "It's okay… I figured as much. Ready to go?"

The blonde nodded as she picked up her bag. She allowed the taller woman lead her out of the hospital, noticing the brunette she had just left in a hospital room on the bench outside. She saw Callie sit limply with her face in her hands.

"Can you give me a minute?" Arizona asked Lily, but without waiting for a reply she approached the brunette.

"Callie?"

The brunette looked up into concerned eyes, and swallowed her tears.

"Is everything okay?"

Callie nodded, "I think I'm just tired."

Arizona shook her head, and sat down next to her, "What happened?"

"He hates me," Callie whispered into thin air. "He is right though… it's my fault. None of this would have happened if I hadn't interfered."

"He doesn't hate you," Arizona reasoned. "He's just scared."

Callie looked into the blue eyes before seeing Lily. She nodded in the direction of the other woman, "I think someone is waiting for you…"

Arizona looked up at the tall woman watching them closely but trying not to. She nodded before turning to the brunette, "Cal…"

"Arizona, please don't be nice to me… I can't handle you being nice to me…"

Arizona stood up and sighed before turning to her girlfriend.

Callie watched the two women kiss lightly before the blonde leaned in to whisper. She watched as the tall woman frowned in her direction before returning her attention to Arizona. She kissed her again before walking away.

Arizona returned to the bench and sat down next to Callie, "I am not being nice to you. Don't ever think I am being nice… nice… I am a concerned doctor whose patient happens to be in your care. Beyond that…"

Callie watched a battle of emotions play in the blue eyes, "Beyond that?"

Arizona shook her head, "There is no beyond that."

Callie dipped her head again, allowing herself be bathed in that familiar sense of shame, "His brother died, was shot as I was trying to get him out of the country… he couldn't take it and ran off only to be knocked down… his mother then couldn't come here because I couldn't afford it… so yes he can hate me… everyone can hate me…"

"God Callie… you don't get to be self-pitying…" Arizona exclaimed in disbelief. She ignored the brunette's flinch as she continued. "That boy is terrified and the circumstances as to why are not your fault…"

Callie stood up and looked at the blonde, "I really wished you weren't here."

Arizona struggled to reply as she watched the brunette walk away. She swore to herself as she turned towards home.

***************

"This is all the cool stuff, Paco. The stuff I was telling you about," Callie said as she watched the little boy be transferred to the MRI table.

His eyes were empty but for fear. Lexie placed a gentle hand on his, reassuring him with a smile.

She spoke softly to him and Callie perked up, "You speak Spanish?"

"I learned some in school… it's not great." Lexie blushed.

"Okay Paco, we will be in the next room," Callie promised kindly. "We will be back very soon."

Callie walked in to other room, her eyes watching the silent boy.

"Dr. Torres?" Derek asked.

"Do not exclude me from this," Callie almost threatened.

Derek nodded as he waited for the images to appear on the screen. He sighs loudly as he leans closer. Callie leans in over his shoulder as does Lexie. Callie frowns, "Shit."

Derek shook his head, "I really don't think there is anything…"

"Of course there is," Arizona announced as she walked in. She ignored the questioning looks she received. "You could cut that there, before placing the pin…."

"Nerve damage?" Derek asked, his interest piqued as a surgeon. "Hang on, instead of cutting there… we could…"

"Cut that, before shaving there?" Arizona stated as she tapped the screen with a pen.

"Print these off," Derek ordered before speaking into the microphone. "Paco, you did great… tell him he did great."

Callie translated softly, torn between her need to be a surgeon and her need to be with Paco as Arizona and Derek left with the files.

She watched through the glass as Lexie assisted sliding Paco to his gurney and wheeled him out. If ever there was a time to run away, this was that time. Callie scolded herself, knowing she couldn't.

She followed the bed back to his room, and watched as Lexie spoke with the quiet Paco. She watched as Bailey re-entered, and grimaced at the smile Paco showed her. She left.

"Dr. Torres!" Bailey shouted. "Do not walk away now!"

Callie sighed before turning around to face the shorter doctor, "It's too much…"

"It's too much? Do not make me laugh. You chose to take responsibility for that little boy… Do Not Abandon Him!"

"He doesn't need me here… no one does."

"Torres, what happened to you?"

"He died, he died and I couldn't stop it… and every time I close my eyes I see it, but I am not allowed to cry because that kid in there won't let me! That kid in there hates me because he died!" Callie felt the tears streaming down her face as she shouted at Bailey who was approaching her with shock in her eyes. Callie ignored their audience. "And I come back to home, except it's not home… I have no home, nothing and no one. And I am expected to be responsible… but I can't! Because I get to see the dead body of a boy I couldn't save every time I close my eyes… Don't talk to me about responsibility… I feel it all the damn time!"

"Hey!" Arizona shouted as she returned to the ward. She saw the pain in Callie's dark eyes and watched as the taller woman trembled. She spoke gently as she came closer to the brunette, "Hey."

Callie looked at her and sobbed uncontrollably as she allowed herself fall to the floor. Bailey and Arizona quickly moved to her sides, pulling her to her feet and carefully leading her to an on-call room, whilst delivering the onlookers admonishes.

****************

Arizona couldn't help but run her fingers through the dark tresses as the brunette slept using her lap as a pillow. She couldn't help but let her fingertips trace the old tear tracks on her cheek, nor could she help but pull her closer as murmurs escaped the brunette's lips. She had remained in the same position for almost six hours, ignoring phone-calls from her girlfriend. She doesn't know why she came back inside. Well, she did know why, but she didn't know why she stayed. She really didn't. Her back was aching from not moving, her eyes were sore from the constant adjustment to lights, her head was pounding from lack of sleep, and her arms were tingling from remaining still. She desperately wanted to stretch and couldn't stifle a groan.

Dark brown eyes opened and looked up into blue eyes. Callie moved quickly before looking back at the blonde, "You're still here…"


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven:**

_The blonde moved quickly, forcing her tears back as she fled the apartment. She wanted to go back but the hurt wouldn't let her. She struggled to put the key in the lock, dropping it several times before finally pushing open the door into darkness. The apartment felt strange, empty and she felt alien to it. It was supposed to be her home but it didn't feel like it. Home was… she couldn't let herself think. Once she closed the door and dropped the key to the floor, she allowed the tears to fall. She pulled her knees to her chest as she slid to the floor, leaning against the door. _

"_Why?" she sobbed to nothing and no-one._

*****************

Arizona allowed the water cascade over her body, as she closed her eyes. She felt arms wrap around her waist, and she turned around looking into green eyes. She smiled softly.

"Sorry, I never came back," the blonde said quietly.

Lily kissed her softly, "I am just glad you came back."

Lily kissed her again, urging for more, but Arizona shook her head.

"I just want to crawl into bed and sleep… I am back at the hospital in five hours."

Lily sighed and grabbed the soap. She watched as the blonde stepped out and wrapped a towel around her.

"Ari… should I be worried?"

The blonde shook her head and kissed her. Lily watched her leave the bathroom and frowned.

*************

Paco was sleeping as Callie flicked aimlessly through a magazine Lexie left for her. She sighed in frustration.

"Whoa Torres… you can always read something else?" Mark joked as he pulled up a chair next to her.

She looked at him, and saw kind eyes, "She stayed with me all night."

Mark raised an eyebrow, "And?"

"And then she left… I am a world-class idiot! I thought that…"

"You thought she would forget you running away and forgive you and fall back into your arms?"

Callie looked away and nodded.

"Torres, the world didn't stop… everyone moved on. Look around you… we've all moved on…"

"I know… and I know I'm being selfish… it's just… it hurts."

Mark wrapped an arm around his old friend, "When is his surgery?"

Callie glanced at the clock, "In five hours… Derek said it's a slim chance… but a chance is better than nothing…"

*************

The blonde avoided Paco's room as much as she could but when it came to pre-surgery, she had to allow her professionalism play its part. She couldn't help but grin at Paco's wide smile as she took her place at the back of the room. She knew Callie was seeking out her eyes, but she wouldn't look. She listened as Derek explained the procedure he was performing, and relaxed into the soft tones of the brunette as she translated. She saw Paco's concerned eyes and for the first time since he had arrived, he looked at Callie without anger.

She watched as Callie sat on the bed next to him, kissing him on the forehead, whispering to him. The brunette then turned to Derek, "Let's do it."

It was then, Arizona let herself meet brown eyes, and she moved quickly out of the room.

***************

Callie followed the gurney as they transported Paco to the surgery, and felt an arm tug her back. She looked at the blonde.

"You know you can't go in there."

"I am a surgeon, and a damn good one… and I am the only person that kid has," Callie argued as she shook the arm off.

"Yes, and that is why you can't go in…"

"Arizona, I have come all this way with him… you are not stopping me!" Callie felt her anger flare.

"That's where you're wrong and I will call security if I have to," Arizona almost shouted back.

Callie stood back and watched as the gurney disappeared around the corner. Arizona moved closer and spoke softly, "You're the closest thing to family that kid has, and I know you know that I am right."

"I'm scared," Callie trembled.

Arizona touched her cheek softly, "I know you are… I know."

The brunette watched as the blonde disappeared, feeling that familiar flutter in her chest as she touched her cheek.

**************

Arizona held Paco's hand reciting all the animal names in Spanish that she had been taught by the little boy. She could see trust in his eyes as he fluttered them closed under the effects of anaesthesia.

"It's a beautiful day to save lives," Derek announced. "Turn him over."

They gently turned the boy onto his stomach.

"Scalpel," Derek announced, and Arizona watched as Derek deftly started to open the boy's lower back up, feeling in awe of the older surgeon's talent once again.

She glanced up to the gallery and saw Callie sitting next to Yang, her eyes not leaving Derek. She could see her lips moving slowly as if dictating to the neurologist what to do next. She looked back at the table and stepped in to play her role.

****************

Callie didn't even notice her former room-mate as she sat down. She ignored warnings for her not to go in. She watched as the blonde soothed the little boy as he went under, and she couldn't help but touch her cheek again. She watched the surgeons do what they do best but she couldn't help feel fear. She was unaware that she was creeping forward on her seat. She was unaware that her breathing was getting faster. She was unaware that Christina was talking to her. She was unaware that Mark had sat on her other side. She was unaware that his hand was on her arm. She was unaware that she was standing. She was unaware that she was shouting. She was unaware that there were two people holding her back. She was unaware of her hands on the glass. She was only aware of the heart monitor going erratic.

***************

"What the hell?" Derek yelled as the monitor started beeping loudly and quickly. "Suction please… I can't see anything."

Arizona pulled the suction to the side as she also raced to find the cause.

"He is in de-fib," Lexie yelled.

"Dammit, turn him over," Derek yelled and assisted in turning the boy on his side.

"Paddles," Arizona yelled. "And get Altman! Charge to 160."

She watched as nothing happened, "We need to open him up."

Derek looked at her, "Not with his back already open!"

"How long?" Arizona yelled and ignored the answer as she saw the pained eyes of the brunette above her. "Get me the rib-spreaders."

"Dr. Robbins, what the hell are you doing?"

"The kid will die if we don't…"

She took a deep breath as she cut the boy open again, knowing that this could cost her her license. "The heart is pale pink."

"A clot?" Shepherd questioned knowing it was rhetorical. He saw Altman rushing to scrub in, her face of horror as she watched the poorly positioned boy.

Arizona stuck her hand in, ignoring everyone around her, trusting herself, "Okay, found it!"

She proceeded to flush it out, and smiled as the heart started beating again, "You are one hell of a fighter."

She looked up at the terrified Callie and nodded at her, her eyes sparkling, "Calliope, he's okay."

She knew the brunette couldn't hear her.

"Okay, close him up, we can't proceed today…" Derek announced as he looked at Arizona.

*************

Callie sat next to the sleeping boy, seeing the bright red scar on his tanned skin.

"We can try again, but for now he needs to rest," Derek stated. "Arizona saved his life…"

Callie looked at the blonde who was standing at the nurse's counter, "The clot?"

"We could never have seen it coming," Derek admitted. "We don't have to do anything…"

"No," Callie interrupted. "He is a fighter and he will walk again."

She nodded as Derek left and watched the blonde greet the tall woman again. She watched the gentle touch on the smaller woman's back, the teasing smile, and the soft words in the blonde's ear. She watched as Arizona nodded, replacing the charts before following the taller woman.

"Hey," Christina announced as she walked into the room.

Callie surprised to see the woman who had been almost invisible since her return.

"Hi," she answered as she watched Christina flip through Paco's chart.

"Okay so the man-whore asked me to bring you to Joe's and he will meet you there," Christina stated.

"I can't…" Callie gestured to the sleeping boy.

"Okay, the kid is going to be asleep for at least twelve hours and you know it, and you are being annoying in the sense that you are turning into hospital wallpaper so I am going to get you drunk and you are going to like it," Christina stated and Callie knew she was not going to argue.

***************

"Oh marshmallow," Christina stated as she finished another shot. Callie couldn't help but giggle at the nick-name. "She is so damn perky, perkier than McPerky which was once thought impossible… and oh her smile… she has perfect, straight white teeth!"

Callie downed her shot in one, not knowing why she brought up her ex-girlfriend's new girlfriend, but she was a glutton for punishment. Christina turned to her.

"You screwed up and she moved on to that bag of sugar, scarier than Mary Poppins woman. What did you think would happen?"

Callie shrugged, and poured another shot from the bottle she had pried from Joe's hand an hour earlier.

"Where did you go anyway?"

"Bolivia," Callie answered. "You should go… no one cares how you operate. Oh look it's your twin."

Callie noticed Meredith walk in and order another shot glass.

She studied the younger woman's profile, "How long does it take him to do his hair?"

Christina spat out her drink and Meredith laughed, "About an hour… so you are back."

Callie nodded, feeling the affects of the alcohol, "In the flesh."

"She is being annoying and sad," Christina stated as she poured more shots.

"Why sad? Derek said the boy made it."

"It's not about Pepe…"

"Paco," Callie interrupted.

"Pepe-Paco, whatever. The point is it's not about him… it's about Bolivia, and the dead people, and the ex-girlfriend she ran out on and abandoned… and oh, of course, the fact that she doesn't feel like she belongs… which to me is straight from a badly-written movie… only stupid people say crap like that."

Meredith saw Callie's glare and counteracted, "Don't you say that every time you are the wrong department, 'I don't belong'."

"She says that by being just on Earth," Callie muttered and Meredith laughed and she couldn't help but join in.

By the time Mark arrived at the bar, Callie was very intoxicated as were her two companions and Joe was pleading for help.

"You're drunk," he stated and Callie nodded and hiccupped. "Yang, you got her drunk!"

"I did not," Christina defended herself. "Who wants to dance?"

Callie pulled Mark on the dance floor, allowing her body move to the music with ease. She almost fell and Mark caught her. She laughed and caught her breath as she looked at him. She went to kiss him but he pushed her back, "Torres, you're drunk and you're going to hate yourself if you remember this moment… you should go home."

"I haven't got a home," Callie laughed. "Ha, I could live in the basement again!"

"Yang, take her home…" Mark ordered the other woman.

"I have to go back to Paco…" Callie argued, feeling dizzy all of a sudden.

She rushed to the bathroom, and emptied the contents of her stomach. She leant over the sink, washing her face before looking up at the mirror. She could almost see the blonde in the reflection as she allowed herself remember their first meeting. She paled as she realised that there was no one there but her former room-mate.

"You okay?"

Callie shook her head.

"Come on, you're staying at mine."

**************

Christina giggled as Callie pushed open the door.

"Ah the place looks the same as always…" she stated as she looked around noticing two other women on the couch, "Except there's a marshmallow and…"

Christina laughed loudly as Arizona stood up glaring.

"Arizona!" Callie yelled, waving her almost empty bottle of tequila in the air. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here," Arizona answered before turning to her room-mate. "You got her drunk!"

Christina pointed at her, "Why is everyone saying that to me?"

She turned to Callie who was looking meek, "Did I pour the tequila down your throat? Did I force you to drink? Did I threaten you if you remained sober?"

Callie shook her head, "No ma-am."

Christina turned back to the angry blonde, "See… I did not get her drunk. And now I am going to bed."

She went to leave before turning to Lily who had remained seated throughout the whole arrival, "Callie is sleeping there."

Lily stood up and watched as Callie sat down.

Callie looked at the two women and laughed, "This is awkward."

Arizona went to her girlfriend, whispering to her, "I can't throw her out… go to bed, and I will get her a blanket."

Lily sighed before throwing her arms in the air. Arizona turned to Callie who was doing her best to stay focused.

"I can't believe you're drunk," Arizona reprimanded.

"Tequila, it brings out the worse in me," Callie said as she lifted the bottle. She frowned as Arizona took it off her, emptying it down the sink. "So you live here?"

Arizona nodded, "Christina needed a house-mate."

Callie bowed her head, "I am sorry… I should never have left… Arizona, I am sorry."

Brown eyes met blue eyes and the two women stood in silence for a short moment.

"I should get you some blankets and something to sleep in…"

"I really thought the world would stop," Callie interrupted. "I really thought I would come back and everything would be as I left it. Because the world stopped for me… every single day I wanted to come back… I would phone just to hear you, but I got scared and would hang up."

Arizona's expression softened, "I knew it was you…"

"I never thought about you as you are now, I really thought you would be the same as I left you… I thought you would still love me."

Arizona gulped, before leaving.

When she returned with blankets, she saw Callie sleeping on the couch. She covered her with the blanket gently and watched her for a moment, before bending to kiss her softly on the forehead.

"The world did stop Calliope," she whispered to the night air as she switched off the lights.

Her bedroom door closed gently, and brown eyes opened again.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve:**

"_Paolo, it's Callie," the brunette spoke nervously into the phone. "You still want a doctor?"_

_The brunette hung up as soon as she got details, and immediately booked a flight with another phone call. She looked around her bedroom before standing with a renewed energy. She pulled a suitcase out from beneath her bed and packed her belongings into it. It was when she had finished she realised she still had clothes that did not belong to her. She stacked them neatly back into the drawers, except for one shirt. She could feel her tears threatening to fall yet again as she inhaled a shirt, before putting it with her own belongings. _

**************

Lily answered her pager and sighed. She was tired, and her girlfriend was sleeping next to her. She climbed out of bed as quietly as possible, not to disturb the blonde. She dressed quickly and walked to the door before looking back at the sleeping woman. She smiled weakly.

She stepped into the kitchen and was surprised to see Callie standing against the window wrapped in her blanket. She had hoped to sneak out without being noticed but seeing the brunette looking back at her she knew that couldn't happen.

"Hey," Callie said quietly. "I didn't wake you?"

Lily shook her head and waved her pager. Callie nodded, "I remember the days of the pager…"

She watched the tall woman approach the front door, "Lily!"

The other woman turned to her and waited, watching Callie nerves kick in.

"I am sorry about last night," Callie started.

"You were drunk," Lily interrupted.

"God, I was," Callie laughed bitterly. "I just wanted to say sorry…"

Lily shook her head, and walked closer to the woman, "Don't… can I ask you something?"

Callie nodded.

"Why did you leave?"

Callie studied the green eyes, and shook her head, "I had my reasons."

Lily nodded, "And if there was no Paco… would you have come back?"

Callie looked at her, seeing the concern in the other woman's face, recognising that anguish. She smiled slightly, "I don't know."

"She deserves me," Lily stated calmly as she switched of her beeping pager again.

*****************

Arizona woke with a start and immediately noticed her bed was empty. She then remembered who she had left on the couch the night before. Paranoid thoughts of fighting girlfriends made her run from bed to the living area, where she found no one. She saw the neatly folded blanket on the couch and sighed. She sat down staring at the wall, trying to avoid her thoughts but they wouldn't leave her in peace. She couldn't stop thinking about dark eyes, long wavy, curly tresses of soft hair, smooth, flawless tanned skin; how this woman ignited a fire in her and how she wished she wouldn't. She couldn't forgive her, wouldn't forgive her. She had moved on.

"Coffee," Christina slurred as she stepped out of her bedroom bleary-eyed. "Why haven't you made coffee?"

Arizona shrugged, "Because I am not your maid."

She stood up and went to the kitchen counter and watched as the smaller woman struggled to get the coffee machine to work. She smiled widely, saying loudly, "So how is your head today?"

Christina grimaced and glared at her, "You are an evil woman."

Arizona laughed, "I think it's your influence."

Christina looked at the couch, "Torres didn't stay."

Arizona nodded, "She did and she left… and no, I did not throw her out."

Christina poured the coffee into two cups, handing one to the blonde, "You know, she is really broken up about you."

Arizona thought about it as she drank her coffee, "Then she shouldn't have left."

*******************

Callie crept into Paco's room and saw he was wide awake. He grinned widely at Callie, displaying his dimples in full glory. She couldn't help but grin back.

"What are you doing looking so happy?" she laughed.

"I have a scar!" Paco almost shouted, his eyes sparkling. "And another one that I can't see…"

"Yes, you do… you like your scar?" Callie was surprised.

Paco nodded enthusiastically, "And-and-and I like the surgery room, its better than the one at home… has all computers and things."

Callie nodded, relishing this new found delight that she never thought she would see, "It does indeed."

"And I want to go again…" Paco stated.

"You do? You want more surgery?"

Paco thought about it before shaking his head, "I want to be awake."

Callie laughed again, as she pushed his hair from his eyes, "That will never happen… you know there will be more surgery, don't you?"

"So I can walk?" Paco asked.

"Yes, so you can walk," Callie answered as she sat down next to him. "Have you eaten your breakfast?"

Paco nodded, "Will I really walk?"

Callie sighed as she looked into his eyes, "I really hope so."

Paco watched her eyes, "I know it's not your fault, Callie and Toni knows it too."

Callie felt tears in her eyes as she smiled a watery smile and pulled the small boy into a hug. "You are one fantastic little boy, you know that?"

Paco grinned, "Yes."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."

The two Spanish speakers looked at the blonde and Paco smiled widely, "Zona!"

Arizona nodded in confusion as the little boy babbled in Spanish at her, to which Callie hastily translated.

"He is telling you he likes the OR and that he wants to watch what we do because he is going to be a doctor when he grows up, and that he loves the shiny equipment and the computers and… oh, he loves his scar."

Arizona laughed as the little boy lifted his gown to show her the scar, before nodding, "I gave you that scar."

Callie translated and smiled as Paco dark brown eyes almost bulged out of his head.

"It was you!" He admired.

Arizona smiled widely and nodded. "Everything looks remarkably good."

"When you going to try again?" Callie asked almost nervous about speaking to the blonde.

Arizona looked at her, "Day after tomorrow, I will book an OR. Is that okay with you Paco?"

Callie translated to Paco who nodded happily at the question.

"Super!" Arizona declared and Paco giggled before whispering to Callie.

Callie laughed and looked at the confused blonde, "He likes the way you say super."

Arizona laughed softly, smiling at the boy. "Super."

The two watched the blonde leave.

"I like her," Paco stated and Callie nodded, "I like her too."

************

Callie walked into the cafeteria and spotted the man she had spent the last hour looking for. She marched straight to the table ignoring Owen and Derek's presence.

"I need to talk to you," she stated as she walked away waiting for him to follow.

They stepped straight into the nearest on-call room and Callie looked nervously at the tall man.

"Torres," Mark started.

"She said her world stopped, or the world stopped and she said Calliope, but she doesn't know I heard her, and I don't know what is going on, but then her g-girlfriend who is way too girlie, it's not even funny, said that she is happy with her, and politely told me to go away without saying go away. She was being all nice and all I wanted to do was punch her because she is with her and now I don't know what to do," Callie breathed.

"Eh…"

"And then there's Paco. He likes her and she smiles, and I smile, and I get that feeling which never went away. I need to get back, and I need to. She smiles and she is nice and she is kind and wonderful and I know I shouldn't but I can't stop and I never meant to kiss you, and I was drunk and tequila is not my friend and she lives with Christina now. How crazy is that?" She took another breath ignoring the perplexed Mark.

"And she said the world stopped, and she held me while I slept. She kissed me, well not me but my forehead. But she is happy and I shouldn't. But I want to. I am the world's greatest ass…"

She was interrupted by strong hands on her shoulder and felt herself be shaken. She stopped speaking.

"Torres, shut up," Mark said firmly.

"Mark, what do I do?"

Mark smiled as he let go, "That's the Torres I love and remember."

* * *

Arizona was advising an intern on how to diagnose the difference between appendicitis and kidney failure with a sense of exasperated patience when she felt a hand on her arm pulling her way.

"You look prepared to kill him," Callie joked.

Arizona smiled, "They get worse… is everything okay? Is Paco okay?"

Callie nodded, "Everything is fine… I was just hoping that we could talk, you and me about you know… you and me?"

Arizona looked around, seeing a nurse trying to overhear and pulled her away onto the stairway.

"Callie, there is no you and me," she said softly.

"Arizona, I thought… after what you said last night?"

Arizona frowned and whispered, "You heard that?"

Callie nodded, "I did… and I thought…"

"You thought I had forgiven you and forgotten that pain and that I was ready to be us… is that what you thought?

Callie flinched but didn't answer.

"When you left, it hurt so much but I moved on…"

"Do you love her?"

Arizona was surprised by the question, "I… if I said I do would you go back?"

"Do you want me to go back?" Callie asked, hurt by the question.

"I have to get back to my patient before he has kidneys accidentally removed," Arizona walked away before Callie grabbed her arm, pulling her back.

"If you tell me to stop, I won't…"

"Calliope, do you know how often I dreamt about you coming back, how often I thought about this very conversation, how much I thought about you… and here is this very moment, and I just feel everything bad, that I can't remember the good. This conversation and I have nothing to say…"

"Tell me to stop then," Callie interrupted as she edged closer. "Tell me to turn around and walk away. Tell me you love Lily… Dammit Arizona, tell me that you hate me."

Arizona gulped as she pressed against the wall. She saw serenity in the dark eyes and wanted desperately to bathe in it. She could feel their breath mingle as Callie stepped in closer again. Arizona struggled to look away but couldn't.

"Just tell me you hate me," Callie whispered as their foreheads touched.

Arizona closed her eyes, almost sobbed her answer, "I can't."

Their lips met slowly at first, caressing the softness of the other person. It was a tentative kiss, hesitant and nervous. Callie lifted her fingers to hold the blonde's soft face, and the kiss became faster, as Arizona knotted her fingers in long tresses. She urged the deepening of the kiss, dipping her tongue into warmth, and relishing the duel of kisses. Fingers tightened into hair as their bodies pressed closer together, breathing becoming erratic. It was Callie's soft moan that made Arizona push her back. The two looked at each other, blushes dancing on their cheeks, eyes barely focused, breathing slowly returning to normal. Arizona pulled her hair back, tying it into a messy ponytail as she looked at the dark eyes.

She shook her head, "We shouldn't have done that."

"Why?" Callie was almost obstinate in her question.

Arizona sighed as she leant back against the wall, "Because I still have a girlfriend."

"Then break up with her," Callie simplified.

"Break up with her?" Arizona almost laughed, "Gee, how simple you make it all sound?"

"Arizona…"

"Callie, you just don't get it… I can't let myself be there again… that pain almost killed me."

Callie was washed over by guilt, "I am so sorry."

Arizona nodded, "You really don't understand… I mourned you, buried you, believed you as dead because it was easier than knowing you were alive and that you left me alone. You were dead Calliope and I moved on, and now I am haunted, and I really don't want to be… I believed you to be dead."

Callie was stunned by this revelation and couldn't respond as she watched the blonde walk away.

*************

Callie shoved Mark.

"Remind me never to listen to you again."

She continued walking.

"Torres, what did I do?" he yelled as he ran after her.

She stopped and shoved him against the wall.

"You could have told me how much she was hurt, how much I hurt her!"

"Robbins never talked about you, nor would she listen to anyone else talk about you."

"You should have told me."

"Why?" Mark asked as he straightened up his white coat. "So you could just not do anything?"

***************

"Paco, all by yourself," Arizona said with a small sense of relief as she entered the room surveying the emptiness. The little boy shrugged as he pointed to the book on the floor.

Arizona picked it up and smiled. It was her favourite book as a child. She knew the story by heart even if she couldn't understand the words.

Paco started speaking in Spanish before rubbing his eyes in frustration. Arizona struggled to understand him as she approached the bed. Paco started speaking again and Arizona just shook her head.

"I seriously need to start taking Spanish classes," she stated as she sat on the edge of his bed. She held the book up. "I love this book."

Paco pointed at her and the book while speaking at the same time.

"You want me to read it?" Arizona waited for confirmation before shaking her head. "But I don't speak Spanish."

When Paco pouted she couldn't help but sit next to him. "Okay I will read if you help."

She felt him snuggle into her arms as she opened the book and started reading, her pronunciation improving with help from the little boy.

She was a quarter of the way through when she realised they had company. She looked up and saw that Callie was standing in the doorway. When she went to move, she felt small hands on her arm.

"He has asked you to keep reading. He likes your voice," Callie said. "I'll go."

Callie turned to leave.

"Callie, can you teach Zona to read like you taught me?"

Callie looked back at the boy and smiled softly, "She can read but in English, and it sounds to me like you're doing a great job at teaching her."

"I have to get back to my other patients," Arizona said loudly as she stood up. She gave the book to Callie.

"He wants to teach you Spanish," Callie said believing Arizona was left out.

"He can tomorrow," Arizona said quickly. "I will see you tomorrow Paco."

Callie grabbed her arm, "Arizona, I'm sorry."

Arizona ignored her as she walked out.

******************

Callie looked at Paco, "I am a very stupid person Paco."

Paco looked confused, "Why?"

"Remember when I told you I had hurt someone…"

Paco nodded before pointing at the door. He watched Callie nod before stating, "Say you're sorry."

Callie smiled, "When you're grown up, you will learn that sorry is not enough."

Paco watched her carefully as she sat down next to her. The two sat in silence.

"Are you sorry?"

Callie nodded, "Of course I am."

"Then we will show her," Paco said with a matter-of-fact tone before taking back his book.

******************

"Hey," Arizona said as she dropped her keys on the counter. "I've had a horrible day… how was yours?"

It was only when she turned around she saw Lily was standing still wearing her coat.

"Lil…"

"I told her you deserve me, but let's be honest… I deserve better. I put everything into you and into us, and I know it's not me. I knew I was second-best at the beginning, and that I am in the sidelines. I also know that you tried with me, you really did and that you are this incredible person. I knew I was going to fall in love with you, and I knew you weren't going to love me in the same way. I knew that I couldn't make you complete, that I am not that missing piece. I also knew that I could have made you happy, made you feel loved, made you felt unique but I knew that you would never have made me feel the same way. I know I should have ended it sooner, because I truly do deserve better, but I don't know… I fell in love… So now I am going to end it, because Ari, as wonderful a person as you are, I deserve…"

"You deserve better," Arizona finished her sentence. "Lil, I am so sorry… I really did try."

"I know you did," Lily said as she grabbed her bag and returned her key to the blonde. She opened the front door and looked back. "Ari... she loves you still."

"I know," Arizona answered softly.

"And you love her still," Lily said as she walked out, closing the door behind her.

"I know," Arizona whispered into the emptiness.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen:**

_The brunette was surprised to see the blonde sitting calmly on the couch, waiting for her._

"_Hey," she spoke quietly, hoping not to frighten the blonde to avoid her again._

_The blonde looked up at her, her eyes tired, her face drained, "We should talk."_

_The brunette nodded and sat down next to the blonde immediately aware of the discomfort unlike the comfort that was once there. The blonde also aware of such discomfort stood up and began to pace._

_The brunette hurt by the move began, "It meant nothing."_

*****************

Callie watched as Paco was being checked over by Derek and couldn't help her disappointment at Arizona's absence yet again.

"I think we're ready to give it another shot," Derek announced as he passed the chart to Lexie.

Bailey smiled to calm the nervous boy, using her broken Spanish to soothe him, "You will be okay."

Paco smiled back at her, speaking quickly. Bailey frowned, disappointed by her lack of Spanish again.

"Torres, what is he jabbering on about?"

"That you are speaking Spanish," Callie laughed.

Bailey smiled again, "Yes, yes I am."

Paco laughed again, "You speak good Spanish."

Callie was surprised, and Bailey smiled slightly wider, "And you speak good English… High Five?"

The two clapped hands before Bailey stepped away as the nurses came in to move Paco to the OR.

"Wait!" Paco yelled as he was being wheeled out. He grabbed Callie's hand. She leaned in to him, waiting for him to speak. "I'm going to walk."

Callie smiled warmly at him as she watched him be wheeled away. She stepped into the gallery above seeing Christina and Meredith already there.

"Oh look the evil twins are here."

"Tequila free," Meredith declared.

"Which is just annoying," Christina interred. "Do I have to watch this again!"

"No one asked you…" Callie stated as she sat down.

"Yes, you do," Meredith responded, ignoring Christina's questioning look.

Callie watched as Derek checked his equipment, and the anaesthesiologist started applying the gas to Paco. She smiled as Bailey held his hand, almost missing the arrival of the other doctor.

"She came?" Callie whispered.

"Oh man," Christina said leaning forward. "Thought she went to her parents."

"Derek told me this morning," Meredith informed her.

"And that is why you insisted I watch this," Christina nodded.

"So you two are here to watch me watch my ex-girlfriend, the woman I love, perform surgery on a boy I love as my own," Callie was in disbelief.

"No, I am here to learn…" Meredith answered.

Christina shook her head, "Oh I am here to watch you watch that."

"Evil," Callie muttered.

*************

"Zona! You here!" Paco mumbled as the anaesthesia started to work its will.

Arizona smiled widely, "I am and you're speaking English."

"New scar," he mumbled as he closed his eyes.

She looked up at Bailey, "English?"

"Kids absorb languages much faster than adults, especially if it is all they here," Lexie informed with exuberance.

Bailey rolled her eyes before looking at the blonde, "I thought you were having some personal days…"

"I was, but I need to see this one through… I don't want to look up."

Bailey nodded and whispered to her, "She's up there with Yang and Grey, and yes she is looking at you… are you sure you can do this?"

"I am awesome," Arizona said with as much enthusiasm as she could muster.

"Are you sure?" Bailey was doubtful.

"This kid is a great kid, and for every dead child like Tyler or screwed up kid like Jacob who you can't help or give a miracle, there is another kid waiting for a miracle. This kid is a great kid and I want to give him a miracle."

Bailey nodded and Derek smiled, "Right then, let's work a miracle."

*************

Callie sat next to the bed, her chin resting on her hand as she watched the little boy sleep. The surgery had lasted nine hours and for that entire time she had been praying to anyone who was listening. She stretched her back for the umpteenth time and watched as the night spread its wings over the hospital. She could hear the quiet whispers of gossip from the corridors, the soothing of crying children and the hushed worries between parents.

"Hey, you still here?" Mark said quietly as he stepped into the room. Callie smiled, rubbing her eyes. "Want to crash at mine?"

Callie shook her head, "I'll stay here."

"Heard he pulled through," Mark continued as he sat down next to her.

"Yeah, he's one hell of a fighter," Callie said, pride lilting her voice.

"Torres, what will you do when he is finished here?"

Callie looked at Mark and shrugged, "I don't know, go back I guess."

"Do you want to?"

Callie shook her head, "No… I really want my life back. Every part of it."

Mark stood up and touched her shoulder lightly, "Then take a few tips from the kid and be a fighter."

***************

Arizona stepped into the room, seeing Callie sleeping, using her arm as a pillow as she leant over the bed. The sun was bright, shining through the remaining raindrops attached to the windows, their reflections dancing on the sleeping face. She didn't want to wake her so quietly picked up the chart.

"Zona," Paco whispered also aware of the sleeping woman.

Arizona smiled at him, stepping closer to him. He started speaking to her and she went to wake Callie to act as their interpreter, but he stopped her. He placed a finger on his lips beckoning her to be quiet. She stepped out and called for the younger Grey doctor.

Lexie smiled at Paco as she stepped in. He whispered quietly to her and she looked at him with surprise before being urged to translate to the waiting blonde.

"He said that he will show you a surprise if you forgive Callie," Lexie stated.

Arizona raised an eyebrow, and Paco continued quickly.

"He said, that Callie is always sad so she must be sorry."

Arizona sighed, and shook her head, "It's not always so easy."

Paco frowned and slammed his little fist on the side of the bed before speaking again, "That's what grown ups say. It is easy. I say sorry and you say that's okay."

Arizona smiled at the simple logic, "Okay, I will say okay."

Paco grinned widely, "Super!"

He reached over for a picture he had drawn and handed it to the doctor. It showed a blonde and brunette shaking hands. She smiled at it, "Thank you Paco."

She went to leave but was stopped again by the small boy, or rather Lexie.

"He said that wasn't his surprise."

Arizona turned, waiting before seeing the surprise. She dropped the picture.

"Oh my God! His toes are moving! Your toes are moving! It worked! Callie!"

The brunette couldn't have been avoided from waking to the gleeful shouts.

"Huh?" she rubbed her mouth ungraciously.

"His toes!"

Callie watched as ten little toes wiggled and turned to Paco who had the cheekiest of grins dancing on his face. She jumped up.

"Oh My God! Paco! You're toes!"

She looked at Arizona who was looking at her with the same joy.

"He is moving his toes!" They yelled in unison before hugging each other tightly.

They pulled back and they couldn't help but kiss. Their kiss was of joy, hope and love. Their hands moved to each other face's, holding them tenderly in place as they continued to kiss, smiles dancing on their lips. They ignored Paco's gleeful cheer and Lexie's clap, Christina's arrival and grunt. It was the clearing of the throat from Derek that made them pull apart and look bashful. Yet, as he checked the little boy's reflexes, they couldn't help but stand next to each other, smiles adorning their faces.

************

Callie couldn't help but smile as Paco continued to wiggle his toes.

"Aren't they tired yet?"

Paco shook his head, "They've been sleeping for a long time."

Callie laughed as she continued to run the feather along his legs, loving the giggles he broke into when she reached a ticklish spot. She couldn't believe it.

She watched as the rain started falling for the fourth time that day. She wanted desperately to find the blonde doctor but Arizona made her escape pretty soon after the morning's miracle. Maybe it was the joy, she thought as Paco let out another giggle.

"Hey, there's the miracle," Bailey stated with a smile. "I just heard and look at those little piggies go."

She couldn't help but grab the big toe and start her son's favourite night-time ritual, "This little piggy goes to the market…"

Paco laughed, language not being a barrier to popular children's rhymes.

Arizona walked in and smiled at the softer Bailey, "Just checking in to, say goodnight."

She avoided all contact with the brunette who was watching her with confusion.

"Buenos noches Paco," Arizona said softly, kissing him on the cheek as he hugged her tightly around the neck. "Night Bailey."

Arizona left quickly and Callie couldn't help but look from Paco to the door to Bailey back at the door.

"You're one great fool Torres," Bailey stated as she tucked the sheets around Paco. "A great fool."

"Fool," Paco imitated happily.

Bailey smiled at the boy.

"What? How?" Callie asked in confusion.

"You want her back but you are expecting her to play the parts," Bailey answers as she plumped up the pillows. "Fool."

"Fool," Paco repeated.

"She kissed me today, a real kiss…" Callie argued.

"And now she is leaving the building," Bailey answered, her head nodding towards the door.

Callie looked confused before her eyes sparkled, "Oh… Oh!"

She stood up and ran out, ignoring her belongings.

"Say sorry," she heard Paco yell out followed by a giggly, "Super Fool."

***************

Arizona threw her broken umbrella in the bin, cursing at the rain as she walked into the wetness, trying to hurry her footsteps in direction of the haven she calls home.

She was half way when she heard footsteps behind her.

"Arizona!"

She turned and watched the lightly clothed brunette run towards, oblivious to the rain. She reached her and stopped in front of her. Brown eyes stared into blue eyes.

"You're soaked," Arizona said after the silence got too much.

"So are you," Callie smiled as she pushed back loose strands of blonde. Arizona shivered under the touch. "And you're cold."

Arizona laughed softly as she studied Callie's attire, khakis cut off at the knees and a loose fitting shirt, "And you're not?"

"I-I-I'm sorry," Callie whispered, as she also shivered.

Arizona glanced up at the hospital and smiled widely, "It's okay."

She grabbed Callie by the back of the head pulling her into a deep kiss, tongues immediately battling for dominance as her fingers twisted into the long tresses. She moaned as she felt hands on her hips pulling her closer. She trailed her hand down the brunette's back, feeling the shirt get damper and tighter to the curves she had missed. She pulled back, seeing desire in dark brown eyes. She grabbed the brunette's hand and pulled her across the street to the apartment.

Neither said a word as Arizona struggled to find her key. Silence continued as they stepped into the apartment, as Arizona removed her dripping coat, dropped her bag and keys. Silence followed them into the bedroom and embraced them as they watched each other carefully. Silence allowed for a gasp be elicit from the brunette as Arizona pushed her against the door, kissing her softly, tenderly. Silence was then abandoned as Callie pulled the smaller woman's shirt over her head. She returned her lips to those she missed desperately, biting the lower lip softly as she trailed her finger tips along the cream skin, tracing it's journey from base of spine to neck before pulling her closer, deepening their kiss. She felt deft fingers under her shirt, unclasping her bra and stepped back and watched as Arizona pulled her shirt off, freeing her of the lace. She saw desire in those blue eyes she saw every time she closed her eyes.

Callie pushed Arizona onto the bed, pulling her remaining articles of clothing off. She crawled upon the slim body beneath her and both women groaned at the contact of skin. Arizona returned her lips to the woman above her, kissing lips, face, neck, anything she could reach as Callie ran fingers across her skin, reminiscing the trails they once took in the course of pleasure. The blonde arched upwards as finger tips teetered above her hips, pushing herself into the brunette. Callie leaned back as Arizona pushed herself upwards, her tongue darting out to caress the valley between the luscious breasts. Callie almost screamed as the tongue circled her nipple and she couldn't stop herself from rolling off the blonde as the blonde rolled onto her. Lips returned to lips as fingers entwined with each other, breasts reunited and the very core of their beings embraced.

Hands roamed skin, neither ready to make that next level passion out of fear it would end to soon. Lips teased lips, tongues licked skin, fingers edged so close, and pleas filled the air. Eyes locked and a tentative nod from the blonde and a small smile from the brunette, led to a renewed eruption of passion. Fingers reached cores, a tongue followed quickly, hips tightened, hands grabbed sheets and silence was abandoned as cries filled the night.

"Oh My God! Calliope!"

****************

"I think Christina left," Callie giggled as she ran fingertips along smooth skin. She felt Arizona smile against her chest. She saw blue eyes watching dawn make its journey through Seattle. It was then she felt tears fall onto her breast She lifted the face tenderly.

"Hey, you okay?"

Arizona nodded before shaking her head. She rolled over and sat up, pulling the sheet around her. "The night is over…"

Callie rolled towards her, "We can have more nights…"

"Can we?" Arizona asked. "And not relive what split us apart again?"

Callie hesitated.

"Can you honestly say you won't feel that again?" Arizona urged.

Callie sat upright taking a hand into hers, "I know what I feel now, and that's you…"

"You haven't answered my question," Arizona laughed. "Calliope, is this not just the emotions of the last few weeks?"

"No," Callie answered.

Arizona stood up and looked at her, "You said you were bored of me!"


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

Sixteen Months Earlier

_The blonde leant in and kissed the brunette before opening the attendings lounge door. _

"_I'm sorry about the weekend," she said and the brunette shrugged. The blonde continued, "I was looking forward to it too."_

"_I know… it's just frustrating," the brunette replied. "I'll see you tonight."_

_The blonde smiled, "I'll be late…"_

"_Tis okay, I have a bottle of tequila to keep my company til you return," the brunette grinned cheekily._

"_Calliope, be careful," the blonde admonish._

"_Stop sounding like my mother," the brunette ordered. "I will see you tonight."_

"_Yes you shall," the blonde smiled widely before turning away._

_******************_

"_What are you doing here?"_

"_Safer out here than in there," the brunette answered her tall neighbour, nodding her head in the direction of her apartment._

_The tall man raised an eyebrow and grinned, "Ooo laa laa."_

_The brunette chuckled, "More like Raa Raa Raa… they're arguing."_

_The tall man slid down the wall next to her, "Where's blondie?"_

_She shook her head, "Working… want some?"_

_He nodded and took the bottle, "You and me, and a bottle of tequila… this could get interesting."_

_She slapped him, "I am a good girl now."_

"_Ah but for how long?"_

_The brunette slapped him on the arm before taking the bottle back, "Just because you manage to be a whore doesn't mean I will be?"_

_He took the bottle, and drank a healthy dose of tequila before wincing, "How do you drink this stuff?"_

"_Like this," the brunette stated as she took the bottle back and drank with ease. "I had wanted to go to sleep and wallow but those two had to have one of their 'Christina, you're out of line' conversations again."_

"_Why wallow?"_

"_I was really looking forward to getting away this weekend but Arizona wants to do this conference instead," the brunette answered feeling the effects of the alcohol._

"_Bad blondie! No weekend of loud, crazy sex for you," he teased._

"_There is no crazy sex… just sex," she answered miserably. "It's become almost…"_

"_Boring…" he interred._

"_I was going to say uniform," she laughed. "But yeah, there's no excitement. I was hoping this weekend would be…"_

_He drank more and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, "That's what happens in a relationship."_

"_I'm just so bored with her at the moment," she slurred._

_****************_

_The blonde moved slowly up the stairs. Her back was aching from a long day in surgery; her head was beginning to pound from tiredness. She smiled as she heard that voice she loved, and felt a new-found energy to be reunited with her. She stopped as she heard the words being uttered, frowning. She felt the heat of tears in her eyes and the swell in her throat. She shook her head, convincing herself she heard wrong, as she moved faster up the stairs. She dropped her bag._

"_Oh God!"_

_His fingers were in the brunette's hair as they kissed passionately. She moves closer to him, almost straddling him. On hearing the blonde's exclamation, they pull apart. The brunette sees hurt and starts standing up. The blonde tries to run away but feels the brunette's hand on her, pulling her into the apartment._

_The living room is empty and its silence heavy on the two._

"_I need water," the blonde said, tearing her eyes away from the brunette's flushed face. The brunette nodded and grabbed a glass, struggling to find words. She handed the filled glass to the shaking blonde._

"_Arizona, it meant nothing, I was drunk and it just kind of happened… Oh God, I am sorry."_

_The brunette swallowed before lifting the bottle of tequila to her lips. She saw pure fury in the normally calm blue eyes and dropped the bottle._

_The glass smashed against the wall, its shards shattering all over the wooden floor. The bottle of tequila rolls across the floor, before stopping at the foot of the blonde._

"_I don't believe this," the blonde whispers harshly. "I can't believe this."_

"_It was nothing," the brunette pleaded._

"_Nothing!" the blonde spat the word out. "If that was nothing, I'm glad I never witnessed something!... I… this… how could you!"_

_The brunette steps towards the blonde and grabs her arms, searching for the blue eyes. She saw rage and hurt in them, and almost looked away, but instead persisted, "It was nothing…"_

_The blonde shook her off and looked up at her, "Can you promise that?"_

_The brunette went to speak but couldn't. The blonde laughed bitterly, "Nothing?"_

_The brunette grabbed the blonde's hand pulling her towards her, kissing her hard. She ignored the smaller woman's struggle. She put her hands to the small woman's face, kissing the lips, begging to be kissed back._

"_I'm so sorry… I love you," she whispered as she pushed the woman against the door. She groaned as the blonde finally returned the forceful kisses. She felt fingers in her hair, and being pulled closer. She placed her knee between the woman's legs, hearing the frustrated growl against her lips. She kissed her again, relishing the feel of their tongues duelling. She pushed the woman's shirt up, allowing her hands to roam the flawless skin._

"_God, I love you so much Arizona. It was a mistake… I love you."_

_The blonde pushed her back, her blue eyes glistening with tears. She straightened her shirt, ignoring the confusion on the taller woman's face. She opened the door, looking back at the hurt dark eyes._

"_Sometimes love isn't enough."_

* * *

_The blonde moved quickly, forcing her tears back as she fled the apartment. She wanted to go back but the hurt wouldn't let her. She struggled to put the key in the lock, dropping it several times before finally pushing open the door into darkness. The apartment felt strange, empty and she felt alien to it. It was supposed to be her home but it didn't feel like it. Home was… she couldn't let herself think. Once she closed the door and dropped the key to the floor, she allowed the tears to fall. She pulled her knees to her chest as she slid to the floor, leaning against the door. _

"_Why?" she sobbed to nothing and no-one._

_She ignored the continuous ringing of her phone, knowing who it was on the other end. She ignored the persistent banging on her door an hour later, and the pleads from the other side of the wooden barrier._

_*******************_

"_I can't talk about this anymore," the blonde said as she continued past the brunette, through the corridors of the hospital._

"_Listen to me, please!" the brunette begged as she chased her. "I am so sorry… it was a foolish mistake and I meant nothing by it. I want you. I love you…"_

_The blonde noticed the audience they were gathering and pulled the brunette into an empty on-call room. _

"_I will do anything to make this up to," the brunette continued. "Please let me."_

_The blonde sighed, "Callie…"_

"_Callie?" The brunette repeated, feeling her heart shatter._

_The blonde saw the pain, but it didn't defeat the torment she was currently suffering. She whispered, "Callie, it isn't what you did that hurts, it's what you said…I can't forgive nor can I forget what you said."_

_The brunette looked stunned and watched the blonde open the door to leave. _

_*************_

_The brunette was surprised to see the blonde sitting calmly on the couch, waiting for her._

"_Hey," she spoke quietly, hoping not to frighten the blonde to avoid her again._

_The blonde looked up at her, her eyes tired, her face drained, "We should talk."_

_The brunette nodded and sat down next to the blonde immediately aware of the discomfort unlike the comfort that was once there. The blonde also aware of such discomfort stood up and began to pace._

_The brunette hurt by the move began, "It meant nothing."_

"_Why did you do it?" The blonde asked calmly._

_The brunette shook her head, placing her face between her hands as she sat on the couch. She was tired, her emotions running her ragged. _

"_I don't know… I was…"_

"_I swear to God, if you say drunk I am leaving right now…"_

_The brunette jumped at the raised voice, "I was going to say stupid…"_

_The blonde sighed and sat on the chair opposite, "Something wasn't working for it to happen in the first place…"_

_The brunette shook her head yet again, "Don't say that…"_

"_You know it's true, and I don't know what it is… but you do," the blonde was barely audible._

_The brunette didn't speak. She could hear the water dripping from the tap slowly, the sound of a car horn on the street below, a door slam further down the corridor. She looked back up at the waiting blue eyes._

_The blonde edged closer to the edge of the seat, forcing the eye contact to continue, "Please, just be honest…"_

_The brunette felt the ache in her heart and remembered why they were there in the first place. She swallowed, "Everything is the same, and nothing is new… it's just…."_

_The brunette looked at the blonde and sighed, "I am never excited anymore. There is no more guessing. There are no plans for the future… when we try, you shake it off, asking to wait until tomorrow, but tomorrow never comes…"_

"_Don't blame me for this… I gave you the opportunity to leave months ago, when we talked about kids but you chose to stay…"_

"_I know," the brunette nodded. "I know and now I realised that this is it… this is it for you and me… This is you and me in ten years, twenty years…"_

"_And what is wrong with that?" Hurt was evident in the blonde's voice._

"_It's just too comfortable."_

_The brunette stood up and looked down at the blonde before whispering, "It's just comfortable, there is nothing new…"_

"_So this is it?" The blonde looked at her, tears pooling in her blue eyes. She watched the dark eyes whose tears had already started to fall._

"_This is it," the brunette confirmed and watched with a dull ache in her chest as the blonde shook her head while picking up her bag._

_She stood up and went to the front door before turning to the taller woman._

"_Calliope, this is all you… just so you know."_

_*****************_

"_Paolo, it's Callie," the brunette spoke nervously into the phone. "You still want a doctor?"_

_The brunette hung up as soon as she got details, and immediately booked a flight with another phone call. She looked around her bedroom before standing with a renewed energy. She pulled a suitcase out from beneath her bed and packed her belongings into it. It was when she had finished she realised she still had clothes that did not belong to her. She stacked them neatly back into the drawers, except for one shirt. She could feel her tears threatening to fall yet again as she inhaled a shirt, before putting it with her own belongings. _

_*******************_

_The blonde paced the length of her apartment rolling the unlit cigarette between her fingers. She stared at the phone wanting to pick it up but shaking her head every time she approached it. She paced towards the framed photo of her and the brunette, crying. She wanted to smash it but she knew she couldn't. She let her fingers reach for the necklace the brunette had bought her, feeling anger, hurt and frustration surge through her. She needed air._

_She went to the window looking out as the early hours blanketed Seattle. She sighed, watching cars and taxis weave between others. She saw a taxi start its engine and suddenly she wished she could escape. She screamed at the emptiness of her apartment. _

_She went to the phone and frowned when it went straight to voice-mail. She grabbed her bag and coat… it wasn't too late. She could try… it wasn't too late._

* * *

_The blonde wrapped her arms around her chest as she surveyed the emptiness of the room. She ignored her body's trembling as she went to touch the bare mattress, before lifting her fingers to her lips. She gasped, and held the sobs in before feeling a presence at the doorframe._

"_She's gone… don't know where. She left a note saying Sorry and two months rent up front… I don't think she's coming back."_

_The blonde nodded before sitting on the empty bed. She avoided eye contact with the other person, turning to the window. _

"_Everything is gone," she whispered, noting her voice cracking._

"_Yeah… and now I need to find another room-mate."_

_The blonde's head whipped around to her companion, the hurt present in her eyes._

"_You could live here… you practically did already, and I know you're not going to bring randoms home every night… or you could. Depends on how you react to heart-break…" _

_The small woman shrugged before leaving the room. She turned to the now quietly crying blonde, "It would save me so much effort…"_

_The blonde looked at her, "She's gone."_

"_Yeah."_


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

"Mama!"

The joyful shout could be heard throughout the ward as Paco's physiotherapy was interrupted by the arrival of two women.

Ines fell to her knees as she watched Paco walk slowly towards her, sobs escaping her chest.

"Oh God. You are walking! You're walking!"

Paco couldn't stop grinning as he watched his mother laugh and cry simultaneously as he hugged her tightly, "Mama, you're being silly. I didn't know you were here."

Ines pulled back, studying his face. She stroked his cheek and laughed as his eyes sparkled. "You are walking… it's a miracle."

Paco shook his head, "No, the doctors did it… in the big room with computers and…"

He was interrupted by another tight hug and a kiss on his cheek. He laughed bashfully, "Mama!"

Callie helped Ines back to her feet, and the other woman started hugging her, "You made him walk again… I didn't believe it, but he is walking…"

Callie smiled, "It was other doctors, but yes he is."

"Look!" Ines almost shouted as Paco turned to return his room. Callie laughed and smiled widely and took the other woman to follow him.

*****************

Arizona watched the reunion from the nurses station and couldn't help but smile and laugh at the joy. She loved the joy.

"Dr. Robbins, you're back."

Arizona snapped out from her staring and smiled at Lexie, "Yeah, only so much sunshine one can take. Started missing the rain."

Lexie looked to where she had been staring and smiled, "He is doing great, isn't he?"

Arizona nodded and started grabbing charts.

"I'm going to miss him when he leaves," Lexie continued.

Arizona stopped flicking through her paperwork and looked at her, "He is being discharged?"

Lexie nodded, "Yeah, that's why his mother is here… Callie paid to get her here so she knows how to help him recover at home."

"Wait… is Callie going back?"

Lexie saw where she was going and stopped talking, opting to shrug instead. Arizona sighed and started reading her charts. "Tell me about our new patients then."

She moved from room to room with an effortless smile adorning her face as she greeted new patients and was reunited with old patients.

"Zona!"

She wanted to avoid that room, but the doctor in her combined with that delighted shout wouldn't let her. She stepped inside.

"Paco!" she said with the same delight. "Look at you on your feet."

"I'm walking," Paco grinned, before turning to his mother to speak to her in his native language.

Before Arizona realised what was happening she was being embraced by the younger woman, who was thanking her repeatedly in Spanish. She pulled back, smiling widely.

"It's okay," she said almost embarrassed by the praise.

She looked at Callie who was studying her carefully. She nodded at her and Callie smiled slightly. It had been almost a month since they last saw each other, almost a month since Callie quickly dressed and left the apartment, almost a month since Arizona begged to be left alone.

She listened to Paco continue to chatter in a mixture of Spanish and broken English and allowed herself be hugged several more times by his mother. She was going to miss him too.

***************

"Arizona!" Callie called out to the blonde as she watched her leave the room. She went after her and pulled her to stop walking.

"Callie, I am busy… I need to catch up," Arizona stated trying to continue walking. She avoided eye contact.

"I need you to listen to me," the brunette pleaded.

Arizona shook her head, "Callie, we can't keep doing this. It's not healthy."

The blonde started walking away from her.

"I wasn't bored of you… I was bored of our relationship," Callie yelled and watched as the blonde turned around and faced her, both women oblivious to their audience.

"Gee, that makes such a difference," Arizona laughed bitterly before using her heeleys for a quicker escape.

"Shit," Callie muttered. "That wasn't what I meant…"

She felt Bailey grab her arm and she turned and saw annoyance in her eyes.

"Now is definitely not the time and place Torres… now let her go."

*************

"Hey, you okay?" Mark asked as he sat down opposite the brunette in the cafeteria.

Callie looked up at him and shook her head, "I can't make her forgive me."

"Her loss then?" He joked.

She glared at him and he stopped smiling. She started stirring her coffee again.

"Mark, do I leave again?"

"Do you want to?"

Callie shook her head, "No I want to be with her. Grow old with her. Have dogs and chickens with her."

"So tell her this then."

"She can't see past what happened. And I don't blame her."

"Torres, you have two choices. Leave and continue living your miserable life or stay and continue living your miserable life. The difference being, if you stay you will see her everyday."

His pager interrupted his advice and he stood up.

"If she can't forgive you then at least you know you've tried everything, but if you leave again… you never tried and you've lost.

**************

Ines sat on the bench outside smoking and drinking coffee. She nodded as she saw Callie approach her.

Callie sat next to her, "I guessed you would be out here. Still haven't stopped."

Ines chuckled and shook her head, "Thank you Callie. Thank you for making my boy happy and healthy."

Callie shrugged, "I felt the need to…"

"Don't… it wasn't your fault…"

The two women sat in silence for a while watching the people go in and out of the hospital. Ines lit up another cigarette.

"I am not bringing him home," Ines whispered and watched Callie turned to her. "I came to say goodbye and give you this."

Callie, confused, watched her pull an envelope out of her bag.

"I spent all my money on a lawyer to get these papers right, and I just need you to sign them," Ines explained as she gave the papers to Callie.

Callie read them, her face fell into shock, "Adoption? Ines, what do you mean?"

Ines took Callie's hand, "You belong here… you don't belong in Bolivia. And Paco he belongs with you…"

"Ines…" Callie shook her head as she tried to interrupt.

"Callie, listen please. Toni made me promise that I would get Paco into a school. He made me promise… and then I buried him."

Callie felt tears spring to her eyes as she watched Ines lean back.

"It's cooler here… the rain… Paco is healthy and happy. He is excited and he is happy. I can't be a good mother if I bring him back to that life… but you can, you can take him to school. You can make him happy and healthy…"

"Ines… I don't know… this is huge…"

"Callie, I buried one son… don't make me bury another one," Ines begged.

"I need to think…"

"Of course you do…" Ines stated as she patted the older woman on the knee and stood up. "I can't believe he is walking…"

Callie smiled as she watched her walk away.

******************

"Oy, Robbins!"

Arizona flinched as she heard Mark shout at her and turned around.

"Is this a consult?" she asked almost bitterly.

He shook his head as he reached her, "No, come with me."

He grabbed her arm and pulled her into an on-call room. She glared at him. He sighed.

"Okay, I know she hurt you. I know I helped her hurt you and I am not going to apologise again, nor should she. She is begging you to forgive her. She is on her knees begging you and you keep knocking her over. Callie, the one who you made walk tall, is begging. Tell me that is the Callie you remember?"

Arizona avoided eye contact as he continued.

"You love her and she loves you, tell me. How is that not enough?"

Arizona looked back at him and went to speak but he interrupted.

"And don't give me bull crap about it not being enough or whatever. I know she hurt you more than she should ever have. I also know that she ran away. I know she hurt you… but she is back and she is sorry and she loves you. Think about it this way… why is she still chasing you?"

Arizona sighed and sat down on the bed and looked at him, "How am I supposed to forgive her?"

Mark smiled and sat next to her, "My best friend is a different person now. She is serious, and responsible and heartbroken. She's changed. I don't know how to forgive her. But I do know that you have to trust your instincts. Listen to her and really listen to her."

He put an arm around the small woman and laughed, "Who would have thought? You and me in an on-call room."

She slapped him on the arm and laughed, "You know, I never hit you for kissing her."

"I swear to God, that was a mistake on so many levels," Mark stated as he rubbed his cheek, offering it for her to hit.

She laughed again, "You sound like a woman."

"You're turning me into a lesbian," Mark stated before being punched in the arm.

****************

"What's wrong?" Arizona asked as she entered Paco's room. The little boy was crying loudly, his face red from screams, his dark eyes filled with more tears, his voice rasp from pleading.

"His mother just left," Lexie informed her as she tried to comfort the boy.

"So get her back," Arizona ordered as she tried to stop Paco from throwing up as a result of sobbing too much.

"No, Dr. Robbins, she's gone as in gone," Lexie said loudly over the sobs.

"What do you mean gone gone?" Arizona asked, confusion in her voice.

"She's left him and she isn't coming back."

"What? Does Callie know?" Arizona said, appalled by the abandonment.

"I don't know," Lexie answered.

Arizona pulled the boy to her and looked at him recognising the hurt of being left behind. She pulled him into a hug and kissed the top of his head, rocking him, "Hey, it's going to be okay. We'll take care of you…" She looked up at Lexie, "Do you know where Callie is?"

"I'll go find her," Lexie offered.

Arizona almost allowed her to but knew it was she who was supposed to break this news to her. She shook her head, "I'll do it."

****************

Bailey stood at the glass of the conference room, watching Callie apparently lose her mind. She was pacing the room, talking to herself in Spanish and English before turning to the pages on the table, pointing at them almost accusingly.

"Hey, Dr. Bailey," Arizona said as she wheeled towards her. "Have you seen Dr. Torres?"

Bailey looked at her almost flustered. She points to the conference room where Callie is continuing her breakdown. Arizona frowned and nodded at Bailey.

She pulled open the door and watched as Callie continued her Spanish rant to no one.

"Who you talking to?"

The interruption made the brunette jump and Callie turned to her.

"Paco's mother left and he is very upset. Do you know where she is?" Arizona continued.

"She what!" Callie continued to shout in Spanish. Arizona grabbed her arm.

"Hey, I still don't speak Spanish," the blonde joked lightly.

"She left… she's not coming back," Callie whimpered as she sat down. "She left me these."

Arizona looked at the papers and read the English under the Spanish. She found herself pulling a chair up to the table as she flicked through the pages.

"Adoption?"

Callie nodded, "What the hell am I supposed to do?"

"Do you want to?"

Callie looked at her, and watched the questions dance on Arizona's face. "I have no job, no home, almost no money… how am I supposed to take responsibility of a kid?"

"Do you want to?"

"Arizona," Callie pleaded. "It's not that easy… I have to think of everything."

"Do you want to?" Arizona asked the question slowly this time, placing emphasis on each word.

Callie stopped fidgeting and looked straight at her, "Yes."

Arizona smiled and pulled out a pen from her pocket, handing it to her. She watched Callie scrawl her name on the sheets, placing them into envelopes and marking them for lawyers. She sighed and noticed Arizona was no longer sitting down.

She looked at the door and saw the blonde standing there.

"Now, tell Paco," Arizona stated.

Callie gulped and stood up and approached the door. She looked at Arizona.

"I never thought I'd do this on my own," she said as she walked out.

"You didn't," the blonde replied to the empty room.

***************

The blonde stood in the doorway of Paco's room listening to Callie comfort the weeping boy with words of Spanish. She watched as Callie's strong hand took a little one, her other hand brushing hair from his eyes, her lips punctuating each sentence with a kiss on the temple. Her words were softly-spoken, emphasis on what were promises and hopes. She wrapped the boy into a hug, continuing to hush him.

It took moments for Arizona to realise that she wasn't speaking in Spanish anymore. She looked at Callie and saw that she was still speaking to the boy.

"… it is home here. Ever since I left I lost my home and I've missed it. But you will see this is home. And I was never bored. I said I was because at the time I was. It took me leaving to realise that it was the boring stuff that made me excited and you will be excited to. Swirling maple syrup into little pictures on pancakes, watching the same movie twice because the first time wasn't good enough, deciding that when it is raining you need to go out and buy ice-cream, playing silly games even when you're too old, learning to speak languages even when you get interrupted by kisses, having a bubble bath but it must have rubber ducks in it, listening to crappy music because you love three beats in it, playing guitar instead of using an alarm clock because you know it sounds worse, waking you up in the middle of the night just to give to you a kiss, sitting on a bench in the park on a cold day just to be together alone, gossiping about friends boring lives because yours is perfect, using a straw to drink a drink, pulling a pout to avoid being yelled at, using a teddy bear as a shield against tickling, wearing silly animal slippers, eating pizza in bed, talking about tomorrow instead of the future because its important, insisting on chasing a rainbow in the car, caring, loving and wanting the now… it's not boring and it took me all this time to realise that's what I wanted."

Callie looked over at the tearful Arizona and continued. "It wasn't boredom, I know that now… it was exactly what I wanted. It is still what I want… It took me running away to realise that it wasn't boring."

"Calliope," Arizona interrupted as she wiped away her tears.

"Sorry, but there's been a school shooting… need you in the pit, Dr. Robbins," a nurse informed the blonde doctor. Arizona nodded at her.

She turned back to the brunette who was laying the now sleeping boy back onto the bed. Callie looked at her, and Arizona nodded before leaving.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

"We're going to be okay kid," Callie whispered to the sleeping boy. She turned on the television and watched in horror as the news informed her of a school shooting. It was severe, and she could see faces of panic and horror as the camera panned through the crowds emerging around the school. She saw ambulances, shouting police and medics and she swore under her breath. She ran to the attendings lounge.

*************

"What have we got?" Arizona yelled to Owen who was wheeling a gurney through.

"It's bad," he stated. "Multiple injuries… take this one."

Arizona smiled down at the screaming girl, "Hey, I'm Arizona. What's your name?"

"It hurts! It really hurts! I want my Mom!" the girl screamed.

Arizona searched for her wounds, and saw a gaping bullet hole in her shoulder. She checked the inside of the wound, and saw it was an easy fix. She smiled at the girl, "You're going to be okay."

She looked up at the resident standing next to her, "Push her morphine. It's a through and through. There's no damage to the nerves, but she does need a transfusion. Order some O-neg stat and start patching that wound…"

She was interrupted by the sound of a loud machine alarm. The resident nodded at her as she ran to where Christina was yelling for a crash cart. She saw that the boy had two bullet wounds to the chest. She deftly incubated him before standing clear for the paddles to do their job. She shook her head and watched Christina perform CPR silently praying for a miracle, but she knew that this was the end of this young boy's journey.

"How long has he been down?" Arizona asked.

"Thirty minutes," a nurse answered.

"Yang, stop! There's nothing we can do for him… call it." Arizona ordered, forcing down her emotion. "Who the hell shoots kids anyway!"

She didn't wait for an answer as she joined Bailey who was ordering her over.

"Two shots to the lower abdomen, and one to the thigh… these kids were slaughtered," Bailey stated in disbelief.

***********

"Hunt, where do you need me?" Callie shouted as she pulled her hair back in a ponytail.

Owen looked at her, "Callie, you don't work here."

"Owen, you need doctors and I am a doctor," Callie answered back, avoiding the paramedics, gurneys and staff.

Owen struggled with his decision between hospital bureaucracy and children's lives.

"Take the minors," he yelled and Callie nodded.

She pulled open a curtain and saw a frightened girl no older than thirteen on the bed. She was pale and shaking but silent.

"Hey, I am Callie, I'm going to take a look at your wound," the brunette spoke softly. The girl's hazel eyes watched her but she still didn't speak.

Callie gently pulled away the bandage away from the girl's neck and saw that a bullet had nicked her as it missed. She was a lucky one.

"You're going to need some stitches, but you're going to be fine," Callie smiled. She left an intern to do the stitches as she moved on to the next cubicle.

************

"We need to get him to the OR now," Arizona stated as she watched the boy stabilise. He was a tall and built, a football star in the making.

"The ORs are full," Shephard yelled as he wheeled his gurney next to theirs. "We have had thirty plus injuries brought in."

Arizona glanced and gasped at his patient. His physique, the same as her current patient, his hair blonde yet dyed with blood, and his face… his eye was gone. She almost threw up but returned focus to her own patient.

"Dammit," she swore as the boy's patient started crashing again. "Push the epi. I need to get that bullet out."

She rushed to the other side of the gurney and started swabbing the thigh area. She grabbed forceps. "I need more blood."

"Okay, he is stable," Derek said of his own patient.

"He's never going to wake up though, is he?" Karev answered, bitterness adorning his tone. Derek shook his head.

"Help Robbins," the chief ordered and watched as Karev helped the blonde doctor perform an unethical surgery. He raced to the next patient.

"Dammit," the blonde doctor swore again. "I can't see a thing… Karev, give me some suction… and I need vascular."

Karev started performing suction as Bailey started performing CPR. Arizona swore again.

"I can't do it! I can't see a damn thing. Where is the OR!"

She felt strong hands over her own and jumped when she saw Callie standing behind her.

"Keep your finger there," the brunette guided the blonde's pale hand to the inside of the wound. "Clamp that artery there with your index and middle finger…"

Callie slid her fingers under the pale hands and removed the tiny bullet with a sense of ease. She dropped it on the tray and whispered back to Arizona, "Now, you need to trace the artery to where it's sliced with the tip of your other index finger, You should feel the tiniest of cracks… You got it?"

She felt the blonde nod and for almost a moment there was no noise anymore. There was no sound, just the sound of two women breathing in time with each other.

"Okay, that is where you fix, stitch that there…"

She stood close, almost as a support for the blonde as the smaller woman stitched the wound.

"There, the bleeding has stopped," Callie stated with the smallest of a smile before whispering close to the smaller woman's ear. "You were great."

"There's an OR free," Hunt yelled at them and Callie moved back and watched them wheel the boy away.

"That was amazing," Karev said with awe as he walked past the brunette. "Where did you learn to do that?"

"Blind-fold Operation," Callie answered as she started walking back to the minor injuries. Her eyes met with understanding blue eyes. She said again, "Blind-fold Operation."

She pulled back a curtain and saw a small boy holding his arm awkwardly. There was a police officer standing next to him, asking questions. She looked in the dark eyes of the young boy and saw vacancy. There was nothing there and it frightened her. Who did this to these kids?

"Hey, this kid jumped out the window to avoid the shooting. Landed on his arm badly," The police officer told her.

"Saved his life though," Callie stated as she pulled up a stool next to the bed. "Hey, I'm Callie… what's your name?"

The boy said nothing, but pulled back as Callie tried to touch his arm. Callie put her hands in the air.

"Hey, I am not going to hurt you okay? I'm just going to fix your arm okay."

The boy showed no sense of trust and Callie nodded, "Okay, how about I tell you what is wrong with it and you tell me what to do next?"

The boy looked at her with confusion.

Callie pointed to her elbow, "You've fractured your elbow, and you broke you arm here."

She pointed to her humerus before her clavicle, "And you fractured your clavicle. It's a clean break though. So what do I do next?"

The boy looked at her before whispering, "X-ray?"

Callie grinned and nodded, "Yes… x-ray. And then?"

"A cast?"

"You're going to make a doctor one day," she smiled warmly at him as she asked for a wheel-chair.

*************

Arizona pulled off her scrub hat as she leaned against the sink. It had been sixteen hours since the shooting began and she had only saved two lives. It was quieter now. The death toll now stood at eleven, not including the four pronounced dead on the scene. These were kids who woke up, had breakfast, bickered with their siblings, rolled their eyes at their parents naggings and jokes, grabbed their school books, gossiped with their friends and passed footballs in the yard, notes in the classroom, answered questions, cheered at A grades, high-fived for C grades and frowned at F grades. These were kids who started their day normally until the bell rang at the end of the school day and bullets began to rain. She felt exhausted and her body ached.

She went outside and sat in the waiting room, watching Shephard explain to parents that their son will never wake up, Bailey hug the mother whose daughter would be fine, Webber inform to parents that their son is no longer there. She felt someone sit down next to her and take her hand. She didn't look up but let her fingers entwine with the hand she had missed so much.

"You okay?" the concerned voice asked. Arizona nodded before shaking her head. She felt an arm pull her into a hug, and rested her head on the waiting shoulder.

"You were amazing Calliope," Arizona stated after moments silence.

"No, you were," Callie argued gently, kissing the forehead softly.

Arizona smiled at the touch.

"You need to go home and get some sleep," Callie stated after more silence.

"Come home with me please, " Arizona pleaded and felt Callie move away. She looked into dark eyes of concern and love and shook her head. "I just don't want to be alone. This isn't an us thing. This is a me thing, and I don't want to be on my own. I know we need to talk about the us thing, and the us thing has to be slow… we have to do us slowly, but now I want you to come home with me."

Callie nodded and stood up, pulling Arizona to her feet, "We will do us slowly?"

Arizona smiled, "We will do us slowly, but we will do us."

"Dr. Robbins!"

The two doctors turned to the voice that called and Callie nodded at him.

"He broke his arm jumping out the window to avoid the shooter." Callie told Arizona who watched him carefully. "Have your parents not come yet?"

"Dr. Robbins," the boy said again, ignoring Callie completely. It was then that Callie knew that the vacancy in the eyes was not from fear or trauma. It was then that Callie knew that the boy felt nothing.

"Jacob?" Arizona said quietly as she walked closer to him.

It was then that Callie knew that the boy felt nothing for the other kids.

"You promised me it would get better," Jacob shouted accusingly.

It was then that Callie knew that the boy was responsible.

"You promised!" Jacob said as he raised his good arm.

It was then that Callie knew that the boy was the shooter.

"Jacob…" Arizona started.

The shot was piercingly loud and silence followed.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

She couldn't stop straightening the lilies up. She needed them to look perfect as they rested against the stone. She knelt back and frowned. They still weren't perfect. She leant forward to move them again. She laughed to herself as she realised she had been doing this very action since she arrived. She touched them again before settling back on her heels.

"Hi," she whispered to the air. She closed her eyes and felt the cool breeze against her cheeks. "It's been one hell of a year."

She couldn't help but remember that a year ago today, a twelve year old boy died, changing the course of her life forever. A twelve year old boy was shot and in his hand he clutched onto a story his little brother had created for him. She blinked away her tears.

She couldn't help but see his smiling face as he ran after a soccer ball or his protective streak as he pulled his smaller brother close or his pride when he was praised. She will always wonder who the man Toni never became would have been.

She knelt forward and touched the lilies again.

A year and everything had changed so much.

She could remember the vacancy of brown eyes as they went from nothing to vast emptiness. She remembered the shouts after the shot, the police firing once more, the small boy dropping to the floor, his last breath as he closed his eyes. She didn't want to know the man Jacob would have been.

It had been a year and she never thought she would be here. Kneeling in this spot, fussing over these lilies.

She could remember the anger in dark brown eyes at the loss of a brother and the loss of a mother. She could remember the joy in his voice when he wiggled his toes after all hope was lost. The laughter as he started walking, the scraped knee after he started playing soccer again, the scared face on his first day of school, the elation of his first report card, the delight at his first real birthday party. She knew she was going to meet the man Paco will become.

She touched the stone carefully, allowing her fingers trace the carved letterings.

She could remember the blue eyes. The blue eyes she loved; once filled with anger, hurt at what she had done. Once filled with forgiveness, hope at what could be. Always filled with love. She remembered the pale hands embrace her dark hands, pushing her away before pulling her back in the end. She remembered the softness of the voice that talked about the future they were to have. She remembered the shot. The loud shot and the silence as the smaller woman looked to her chest, touching it. She remembered the blood seep from the wound, slowly trickle its way down her torso, darkening the navy scrubs. She remembered the blue eyes fill with pain and surprise. She remembered the blonde hair fall over the pale face as she slid to the floor. She remembered calling out her name, running to her, cradling her, begging her to wake up. She remembered being pulled back by Mark, held in place, as she watched the other doctors take her love away. She remembered screaming, crying as she watched shaking heads.

It had been a year since everything changed.

She scolded herself for touching the lilies again. She pushed back her dark tresses behind her ear.

She felt herself become trapped in memories of bathroom kisses, cheating husbands, silly arguments, confusion, anger, happiness, fear and hope. She surrounded herself with the tracks of her life, seeing how everything fell into place for her to get to this exact place. She knew if George had never cheated on her, she would never have considered being with another woman. If Erica had never left her, she would never have been upset. If she hadn't been upset, she would never have been in Joe's that night. If she hadn't been there, she would never have had the first kiss of thousands with Arizona. If she hadn't left Arizona, she would never have met Paco. If she had never gone to Bolivia, she would never have known what love really is. She would never have known that love was the little things, the big things and the things in between. That love was comfortable and discomforting. That love would hurt and that love would heal. That love was a culmination of emotions which never needed to be explained. If she had never left, she would never have appreciated what love actually was. She would never have realised that love wasn't planning and talking, but was just being. She would never have realised that love was Arizona.

She touched the lettering on the stone again and watched as the sun came from beyond the clouds, illuminating the marble. She touched her fingers to her lips, kissing them softly before returning them to the stone.

"Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you for love."

She stood up and returned to the pavement where she saw Paco balancing carefully along the wall, placing one foot in front of another as he tried to move faster.

"Paco, get off that wall. You will break something."

Paco jumped off and grinned at her. She couldn't help but grin back as she ruffled his hair.

"Home," he asked and she nodded and watched as he raced to the car.

She felt arms slip around her waist and a soft kiss beside her ear.

"You okay?"

Callie nodded and leaned into the touch, "Just saying thank you… if he had never cheated, I would never have met you."

The brunette turned to face the blonde and saw love sparkle in the blue eyes.

The blonde smiled, "You're thanking your dead ex-husband for cheating on you?"

Callie smiled, "Yes"

Arizona laughed and leaned upwards and kissed her softly before pulling back. Callie traced the scar that peered through the top of her shirt. Arizona closed her eyes at the touch and held Callie close as she felt the brunette kiss is tenderly. She looked into the dark eyes, "You really do love scars on a woman, don't you?"

Callie laughed, "I love that scar. It's sexy… no, it means you're alive and here and with me."

"Also, means I match with Paco," Arizona stated.

Callie grinned before looking for the small boy. She saw him behind the steering wheel and looked at Arizona who frowned.

"That kid is going to be driving before you know it," the blonde stated, almost concerned.

"Hopefully not with your driving skills," Callie joked and laughed at the punch she received. She grabbed the smaller woman into a hug, kissing her again. "Home?"

Arizona nodded, "Home."

The two held hands as they walked towards the car.

"I love you," Arizona whispered tenderly.

Callie stopped, her feet scuffled the small pebbles as she turned to the blonde, "You do?"

Arizona smiled gently, "I do."

Callie smiled, stepping closer to her, "I love you too."


End file.
